play the match game

Play the match game,
you may get burnt.

Play the match game,
you may get hurt.

But if you win
it goes away

pain all gone
memories at bay

Don't play the match game,
you wander alone.

dieing slowly
becoming bone

emptiness eats you
a black pit

it's all around you
but there you sit

get up now
if your heart has a tear

play the match game
if you dare

----------
it makes sense to me now, but it's 1:00 AM, so I cant trust me.

--mark--

haha i actually laughed when i read that.

i think it's good. for being written at 1:00.

there is a drastic change from funny to deep. but good effort.


mary.

drastic change is a good thing right? just listen to the presidential candidates, "we want change!"
"change!" "we need change"

--mark--

Don't make fun of Obama!

haha. Kidding.
Anyhow, this was okay, some of the lines such as "a black pit" were sort of off, but for the most part, it held a steady flow and rhythm...

You seem to always spell dying dieing...and I've only pointed that out ten million times.


Overall, nice job.

thanks

To be honest, I had a hard time trying to figure out what you were trying to say exactly...

Was this piece a metaphor about taking risks in life? If it wasn't, then my bad, but I'm not sure exactly what this piece is trying to do.

Otherwise, it's fine. A bit short, but then again I shouldn't complain about length.

Ah, yes
I know well what its like to write poems at one in the morning,
and every one's like,"what?!"

But it makes perfect sense to you,
and they must all be delusional or not thinking clearly.

Anyway, I liked this poem even though it didn't quite make sense to me
(delusional or not thinking clearly?)
but the imagery and feeling was great.
I never quite figured out if the match game was a good thing or bad thing to play.
I assume bad, after finishing reading.

But keep it up!
I like your stuff.