You are me - You are God.

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Points 1172
Reviews 112
You are the Sun -
That lights my day,
and all the warmth it brings.
My celestial body.

You are the breeze -
stroking the canopy,
and all the cooling it brings.
My lift and fall.

You are my inner thoughts -
the speakings of my soul,
and guide me in all things.
My very being.

You are with,
and without.
You are my Father,
and my mother.

You are the ship -
that sours upon your waves,
and all the crew there in.
You are jagged rocks.

You are all the universe -
the exceptional spectacle,
and the cold emptiness.
The dichotomy of reality.

You are nowhere to be found -
yet always to hand,
and never able to lend one.
Aloof....

You are my euphoric feelings -
that ignite my essence,
and my dysphoric mood swings.
My gamut of emotions.

You are everything I am -
all that surrounds me,
and everything I am.
My God.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 126
One word I can say, beautiful.

Are you a Christian? If you are all I can say to you is,

God bless you.

~Casey
Christianity is not a religion, it's a relationship.

I may not be perfect but Jesus thinks I'm to die for.

"Let's destroy these little darlings..."- W.Beckett




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 29
Hm, this is gonan be through the eyes of a teenager still struggling with what and who to believe, okay? So if I say I dont understand something, it may just be me being extremely dense.

First thing I ever look at in a poem is this structre; I don't know why, it just always draws me to it, straight away. I liked how you set it out, in the short stanza's although I'm not a big fan of those that continue for eight or nine. Perhaps cutting down the poem would do it some justice, but this is meerly just a suggestion rather that a tip for improving.

"You are the ship - that sours upon your waves," These lines, I think you made a typo. Although sours/[i] would work, I think you should try something along the line of [i]soars although that is used pretty often. Tricky...

You used words that were unfathomable to me and just made the wohle stanza they were in disolve in my brain because I couldn't understand it. This is my own desity, but perhaps tone it down a little? You worked well with your flowand rhythm and they remained pretty consistant all the way through, so good job.

Happy writing!
Ehh Maii Gawwwsh, it's GingerLizzy, on a different profile!

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I always knew that deep down in every human heart, there is mercy and generosity. No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.
— Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom