Last stand during the Warsaw Uprising

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I'm kind of proud of this, but finished too late by 15 minutes to enter it in the competition. Is it any good? Each line of dialogue begins with the next letter of the alphabet.



“Abraham they’ve blown both of the bridges!” The scout shouted as he leapt back behind the safety of the barricade.
“Both of them? That means the Bolsheviks won’t be able to get into the city,” replied the Home Army Captain.
“Communists have been holed up on the other side of the river for days, they aren’t getting here any time soon,” noted Lieutenant Juliusz.
“Damn,” swore Abraham.
“Even if the Russians break through, it will take them forever to ferry troops across the river,” Juliusz continued.
“Ferries? There are no craft across the Vistula since the war began, and in the cold, swimming is impossible.” The scout’s remark was girdled by a sound like the crumpling of rough paper; only a thousand times louder.

“Gunfire! Hit the deck!” shouted Abraham. The Home Guard soldiers sheltered behind their barricades as a withering hail of bullets erupted from the other end of the street.
Through the smoke, Juliusz saw the armoured bulk of a vehicle turn the corner onto their street. “Hurry, load the PIAT’s.” A trio of soldiers quickly made a scramble toward the anti-tank weapons; loading them under fire.
He leapt over towards his commander, grasping him around the star-adorned armband he worse as a matter of pride. “I don’t think we can hold them.” As if underlining his point, a large part of the barricade exploded inwards.

“Juliusz, they’re breaking through to the south,” shouted the scout, favouring the Polish nationalist over his Jewish commander.
The lieutenant turned towards the company’s sole machine-gunner, “Karl, cover the south.”
“Lieutenant, do you see any way out of this?” Abraham shouted over the sounds of gunfire, and of agonised shouts.
“Many, but few that don’t involve a shallow grave or a bodybag,” replied the Pole as he reloaded his automatic pistol.
“Not greatly appealing,” admitted Abraham, firing blindly over the ruined parapet, into the street.
The damaged barricade caved completely as another explosion rocked the street. Juliusz made it to cover, Abraham did not. “Over here!” he shouted, but the dazed Captain did not respond. He lay helpless and exposed on the street.
Through the dust and debris clouding his vision, Abraham could make out the shapes of his command, dead or dying in the ruins of their post. “Poor men,” he muttered weakly, his thoughts askew.

“Quick Abraham, get over here!” Shouted Juliusz; perhaps too loudly. Soldiers were making their way up the street toward the post.
“Right away, sir,” joked Abraham to his subordinate, as if it had been the Jew’s idea to lie in the middle of the street with Nazi soldiers advancing from either end.
“Stupid fool,” replied Juliusz, grabbing Abraham’s arm as the latter scampered for cover.
“Time to surrender?”
“Unlikely. Polish Nationalist and Jew? I don’t like our chances in their camps.” Abraham said.
“Very unlikely,” Juliusz agreed.
“Well then, if you’ll do the honours...” Abraham passed Juliusz a grenade. The Lieutenant realised the plan as soon as his gaze shifted to the company’s ammunition cache, which lay all but untouched in the centre of the street.

“Xenophobe,” chuckled Abraham in farewell.
“You there, put your hands in the air!” Ordered the German officer who had just seen them. Two dozen of his subordinates stood scattered around the ruined outpost, examining the corpses.”
“Zealot,” chortled Juliusz to his old friend, his tone the same. Both men raised their arms in surrender. Juliusz let the grenade roll from his hand. It bounced across the cobblestones before stopping at the German officer’s feet.
The feet of the German officer who stood next to a rather large pile of ammunition dropped by British planes days earlier.
The street exploded.
So you're going to kill a god. Sure. But what happens next?

Diary of a Deicide, Part One.


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Well, it's rather Dialogue-tag, dialogue-tag, and no break up from that, but that's just because of the contest, so despite that, it isn't so bad.


There are no craft across the Vistula since the war began, and in the cold, swimming is impossible.
I would think that it would be common knowledge that the Vistula would be too cold to swim in. I mean, depending on what month you have this in (September?) it's going to be somewhat cold out, and so it can be assumed the river would also be cold. So it didn't make much sense to me that he was explaining this, especially, to the Polish Nationalist, who would probably know this without being told. It seemed more like dialogue to explain to your reader, rather than to Juliusz.

Hurry, load the PIAT’s
What's a PIAT? I think you should use the full name before you use the acronym, since not everyone will know what you're talking about. (Word count, of course...)

It makes me giggle that you have someone on the Polish side named Karl because I generally think of Karl as being a German name. And this my be a silly question, but despite the fact that Abraham is a Jew, it would make sense to me that he was also Polish. I haven't studied much outside of the camps, but wouldn't he want both Jewish freedom and Polish freedom? Of course it could be very well that he just lived in Poland, but was much stronger to his Jewish roots. But even if he was Jewish, does he have no feeling for his "home land"? Does he speak Polish? Was he born in Poland? I think if there were "yes"es to both of these, then he would have sympathy for both. Of course, as I said, I haven't done too much research on this area of WWII.

“Unlikely. Polish Nationalist and Jew? I don’t like our chances in their camps.”
"A Polish Nationalist and a Jew?" The articles are needed. The only place I could see you removing it is before "Polish Nationalist".

It bounced across the cobblestones before stopping at the German officer’s feet.

The feet of the German officer who stood next to a rather large pile of ammunition dropped by British planes days earlier.
Not only did I have to read over this a few times to understand it, but I don't like the coincidence of it. It's something that would happen in a bad movie with lots of explosions and fast cars and pretty girls - not a war movie. Or story, for that matter. You should be more concerned with being realistic, than getting the biggest boom.

Of course I'm just being picky. ^^ I loved your X word. Good job!
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo




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You're right about the Vistula, as the uprising went from August until October, the Vistula's state would have been common knowledge. I kind of imagined it being the scout taking responsibility for making sure his commanders know everything, but it obviously came over as an info dump.

Piat's were anti tank weaponry used by the Polish home guard during the insurrection: Projector, Infantry, Anti Tank (PIAT). To be honest they probably would have had a more vernacular name for them, but if I'm going to get that authentic I'm going to have to learn to write in Polish :P.

Names are a bit of a weak-point for me. Even in fantasy (my pet genre) I have epic trouble finding the right sounding (let alone logical) name.

Thanks for picking up on the articles, the sentence runs far better with them.

And you probably got me with the "big boom" part; it certainly was what I was working towards. I suppose realism is probably one of the most important things, especially in historical fiction. In my (or perhaps Juliusz's?) defence, he meant the grenade to roll where it did, rather that it being accidental. I don't think I can get away with blaming Juliusz for the narrator not making that clear, unfortunately.

To be honest, I actually developed the idea purely from the idea of using xenophobe as my x word. I mean, when you think of racism, you think of world war two, and when you think of doomed last stands, you think of warsaw (generally the ghetto uprising, but I prefferred the interplay between jew and gentile).

Thank you ever so much for the marvelously quick critique.
So you're going to kill a god. Sure. But what happens next?

Diary of a Deicide, Part One.


Got YWS?



You'd better wise up, Pony... you get tough like me and you don't get hurt. You look out for yourself and nothing can touch you, man.
— Dallas Winston, The Outsiders