A part for me a part for you

I sit home alone
like I do every night.
You know I feel for you,
and how I think of you.
But you don't give a crap
do you?

Chorus
I feel like i've been split in two
a part for me
a part for you
and I know I won't be whole without you.

As I sit here alone
my thoughts drift back to you
and all the hell you put me through
but you didn't mean to drag me half way there
and then leave me there
did you?

Chorus
I feel like i've been split in two
a part for me
a part for you
and I know I won't be whole without you.

(gutiar solo)

Here I am again
Sitting home alone
I don't wanna think of you
but thinkin's all I get to do
You won't think of me,
even if you hear this song
will you?

Chorus
I feel like i've been split in two
a part for me
a part for you
and I know I won't be whole without you.

All alone again
with my thoughts of you.
Friends went out tonight
didn't take me too.
All because these tears
that I shed for you.
But you're not here to dry my tears
are you?

Chorus
I feel like i've been split in two
a part for me
a part for you
and I know I won't be whole without you.

On the floor I sit
With that pic I took of you
and as I scream and shout
and throw the picture out
I fall down on the floor
and wish again that you were here
here with me

Chorus
I feel like i've been split in two
a part for me
a part for you
and I know I won't be whole without you.

(fading out)
I sit home alone
on this Friday night...

As I sit her [s]e[/s] alone
my thoughts drift back to you
and all the hell you put me through
but you didn't mean to drag me half way there
and then leave me there
did you?

A not E!

Overall it reads nicely. As far as reading it I think it has some repetitive words like you. Some spots you finish two lines with the same word.

As I sit her e alone
my thoughts drift back to you
and all the hell you put me through
but you didn't mean to drag me half way there
and then leave me there
did you?

See what I mean. Maybe with a melody it doesn't sound funny, but reading it like a poem it feels off. Anywho, nice song.

Funny, I can relate to this song...
I wish I knew how it sounded, but as a poem it's overall nice. You managed to rhyme, or at least make the last word of the line have rhythm (sp?) with the word above it, at pretty much every sentence except for one that didn't sound right to me.

But hey, I can't find it and since I forgot about it it was probably just me being nit-picky.

[:

You miss spelled guitar you spelled it "gutiar" ,but besides that Alice I liked it.

You won't think of me,
even if you hear this song
will you?

It might just be me. D;= But it feels like 'song' doesn't quite fit.

=D oh, and /loved/ it! -.^ I thought it was cute and it made me cry. D;=

Okay, I liked this song, but not as much as your others. It was okay. I didn't like some of the wording. (But usually I don't like songs about someone being 'split in two'. Just don't get them)

I think you repeated 'you' too often. It got kind of...overworked, although I see the point.

On the floor I sit
With that pic I took of you

Um, I think this should just be 'picture' and not pic. Sounds better.

Good job.
~Timea

I agree with the ninja - I think "pic" is a little informal, sounds a bit like chatspeak. "Crap" hits a bit hard too, but maybe that's what you were looking for?

I'm not a big fan of "you" as a rhyme for "you" in the chorus, but I can't really suggest anything else, so I see why you did it that way.

As far as lyrics go, these are quite nice, and I can see them fitting easily with a melody. Have you written one for them?

Hi. This was pretty good, but in the end I felt like there was too much of the chorus, coming after every verse. Maybe it could come only after every other verse?

Friends went out tonight
didn't take me too.

Sounds a little weird. "Didn't take me too". I know it's supposed to rhyme, but "didn't take me along" would sound better. I don't know about the rhyming, then.

The chorus flows nicely, but remember to capitalize the "i" every time.

All in all, this was nice, but that's basically it. It isn't the best song I've heard, but it isn't by far the worst, either.

See you around!
Demeter xx

Id have to agree whit Psyichic Ninja about the little 'pic' part of the song, but other than that, and a few other wierd wordings, i thought it was awsome.

I could envision someone singing this. There were just a couple lines that struck me as out of place with the rest of the song, I mean I felt it would make the song off-beat, but of course that all depends on the instrumentals.

Anyways these lines caught me off:
With that pic I took of you
and as I scream and shout
and throw the picture out

And then this:
but you didn't mean to drag me half way there
and then leave me there
did you?

The only thing that seemed off to me was the ending, but other than that I thought these were good lyrics, and with the other critiques about the repetitiveness, I don't think that's that big of a deal as long as the instrumentals make up for it, and that is obviously hard to judge on here. Nice work!

I would get rid of and I know I won't be whole without you. It doesn't really flow with a part for me a part for you. Maybe replace it with you split my heart into two. Anyway, I thougt it was good.

Personally I think it's pretty cool, cuz there was a time not so long ago I felt exactly the same and i tried to write a song about it, but I think u did much better than me. LOL.
I do not agree with physic ninja about writing pictue instead of pic, because depending on the melody picture might actually sound a whole lot cheesier than pic.

But heres some ideas


I sit home alone
like I do every night.>>>>>As i do every night
You know I feel for you,
and how I think of you.
But you don't give a crap>>>>>okay...i know it's not that nice but...i think it would sound a lot better if the crap was a Dam'n, but really if you don't want 2 put that word in your song...DON'T.
do you?

Chorus
I feel like i've been split in two
a part for me
a part for you
and I know I won't be whole without you.
>>>>>>>>>>>An excellent chorus. The like the way you worded it, It sounds good.

As I sit here alone
my thoughts drift back to you
and all the hell you put me through
but you didn't mean to drag me half way there
and then leave me there>>>>>> It might not sound so repetative if u said and then leave me here, instead of saying there again.
did you?

Chorus
I feel like i've been split in two
a part for me
a part for you
and I know I won't be whole without you.

(gutiar solo)>>>>>>>>sweet

Here I am again
Sitting home alone
I don't wanna think of you >>>>>>>>
but thinkin's all I get to do >>>>>>>> These two lines are pretty neat. But i think if you maybe put got instead of get, that it gives it a little more umph, but then again depending on the melody maybe maybe it doesn't need umph.
You won't think of me,
even if you hear this song
will you? >>>>>>>>>> I like this verse allot, and I can't really say why...I just like it.

Chorus
I feel like i've been split in two
a part for me
a part for you
and I know I won't be whole without you.

All alone again
with my thoughts of you.
Friends went out tonight >>>>>>>
didn't take me too. >>>>>>>>>> As someone else mentioned, This didn't make sense much. I just didn't understand it.

All because these tears
that I shed for you.
But you're not here to dry my tears
are you? >>>>> again, I like these. =D

Chorus
I feel like i've been split in two
a part for me
a part for you
and I know I won't be whole without you. (LOVE YOUR CHORUS!)



On the floor I sit
With that pic I took of you
and as I scream and shout
and throw the picture out >>>>>>>> I think the "and" makes it sound a little cheesy for some reason, maybe try, "I'll throw your picture out."
I fall down on the floor >>>>> same thing here, the "down" makes it sound a little off. But I cant' tell cuz i've never heard the tune. I think maybe, Fall apuon the floor might be good.
and wish again that you were here
here with me

Okay, This has to be my favorite verse of the song, it's good.

Chorus
I feel like i've been split in two
a part for me
a part for you
and I know I won't be whole without you.

(fading out)
I sit home alone
on this Friday night... >>>>> Why is it a friday night? Or does that question even matter.