Aubade

I open my eyes
My feet are delicately placed
in-between sheets and limbs

His arms are wrapped around me,
he smiles in his slumber, and I sigh

It is an intoxicated, almost delirious sigh that stirs him,
but he doesn't open his eyes. Instead, his fingers trace my arm...
up to my shoulder..
graze my neck... and rest casually on my lips.
Then he wraps his arms around me, and I him,
and we hold each other so tight we can scarcely breathe.

Remnants of previous hours seep into my mind
Of lips, souls, legs, pressed and intertwined
Along with uncontrollable sounds and murmurs of seemingly nothingness

I have to leave, I whisper
bringing us back to the realities of imperfection.
He protests, pulling me back tighter, kissing the back of my neck
I am rendered still, once again, helpless in these arms

But then I am reminded, and I carefully unattach myself from his embrace,
remove the mess of sheets, and begin to dress.
He watches me lazily, with half dreamy eyes
that make me long to jump back into bed,
within the warm confinements of arms and blankets.

Instead, I sit on the edge of the mattress, very safely
We take a moment to stare at each other.
The sun seeps in from the window
and lays gently in the room, on us
creating a warm glow that triggers deja vu.

I love you, he whispers, as I lean in to kiss goodbye

He is almost asleep when I stand to leave
I love you, too, I say quietly, as I slip out the door.

Wow, the image you set in this poem is very clear. I loved the imagery and the mood you placed. I could practically see their faces. I can't think of much more to add to your poem but it was very well written. I liked how you made it short and kinda fuzzy, like a dream. I hope to read more of your writting. Keep it up!

Wow, this is really great. I'm a sucker for love and romance, so I might be biased when I say that I like this poem. But I think you should read it over and resolve some punctuational inconsistencies and address some awkward sentences. Here's my suggestion:

I open my eyes, or .
My feet are delicately placed
between sheets and limbs.

His arms are wrapped around me,
he smiles in his slumber, and I sigh.

It is an intoxicated, almost delirious sigh that stirs him,
but he doesn't open his eyes. Instead, his fingers trace my arm ... (MLA says to put spaces around ellipses)
up to my shoulder ...
graze my neck ... and rest casually on my lips.
Then he wraps his arms around me, and I him,
and we hold each other so tight we can scarcely breathe.

Remnants of previous hours seep into my mind: (the transition between this and the next line doesn't make sense without the colon)
of lips, souls, legs, pressed and intertwined,
along with uncontrollable sounds and murmurs of seemingly nothingness

"I have to leave," I whisper,
bringing us back to the realities of imperfection.
He protests, pulling me back tighter, kissing the back of my neck. or ;
I am rendered still, once again, helpless in these arms.

But then I am reminded, and I carefully unattach myself from his embrace,
remove the mess of sheets, and begin to dress. (these last two lines are a little awkward)
He watches me lazily, with half dreamy eyes
that make me long to jump back into bed,
within the warm confinements of arms and blankets.

Instead, I sit on the edge of the mattress, very safely. (awkward syntax again)
We take a moment to stare at each other.
The sun seeps in from the window
and lays gently in the room (no comma) on us,
creating a warm glow that triggers deja vu.

"I love you," he whispers, as I lean in to kiss goodbye

He is almost asleep when I stand to leave.
"I love you, too," I say quietly, as I slip out the door.

PM me if you have any questions. Welcome to YMS!

Thanks for taking the time to review, jMin & rebecca. ;0)~

in-between sheets and limbs -- I'd leave out the in, so it's just between, it read nicer to me and it still makes sense.

Remnants of previous hours seep into my mind
Of lips, souls, legs, pressed and intertwined
Along with uncontrollable sounds and murmurs of seemingly nothingness

This is my favorite stanza, the only thing I would take out is along, so it starts with With.

I am rendered still, once again, helpless in these arms -- This is a good line that I feel can do without the word rendered and take out the comma so it reads I am still once again, helpless in these arms.

Instead, I sit on the edge of the mattress, very safely -- I'd eliminate very safely, but I'm one for the somewhat vague.

These are just suggestions, because I enjoyed this. Hope to read more of your stuff!