Parting

It is such a sweet sorrow
To part now , for you and I.
But I knew always that one day,
You and I would have to fly
From out of the confines of yesteryear,
And into present and future neither showing very clear;
As though through a mirror of oddly reflecting glass,
Until the moment itself had both come and passed.
But I knew this would come
And still I wished us both to fly.
Even now its so hard to say goodbye
For the possibility is abundantly clear
That you may leave this place and our memories here.
To fade and to die here within the mind
Of one who refuses to forget.

Overall, I liked it, but here are some things I noticed:

But I knew this would coome

That you may leave this place and our memoried here

Tod fade and to die here within the mind

Just general spelling typos, easy to fix.

Another thing: It doesn't really have a clear, definite ending. It kind of left me wondering, hey, is there more?

But other than that, a pretty good poem. Keep writing.

~Ryllie

My main problem with this is that there is no punctuation whatsoever. Punctuation tells the reader when the sentence/subject is over and another can be in and when to make a dramatic pause. These are just two reasons of the many there are as to why punctuation is important.
One of the main reasons why punctuation is important in poetry is that it makes your poem alot more easier to read, and helps to set the rhythm of the poem. I've rewritten your poem below, with punctuation and any spelling mistakes I have found included.


It is such a sweet sorrow

To part now you and I (this line doesn't really make sense. For you, would "To part now, for you and I." work here?)

But I knew always that one day,

You and I would have to fly

From out of the confines of yesteryear,

And into present and future neither showing very clear;

As though through a mirror of oddly reflecting glass,

Until the moment itself had both come and passed.

But I knew this would come

And still I wished us both to fly.

Even now its so hard to say goodbye

For the possibility is abundantly clear

That you may leave this place and our memories here.

To fade and to die here within the mind

Of one who refuses to forget.


Most of my punctuation isn't going to be correct for this poem, but I've tried my hardest to place it where it seems best. You need to go over the poem yourself, and figure out where it's ending and whether there needs to be dramatic pauses anywhere. If you do this, I'd probably find this to be one of the best poems I've read on this site.

And then

What will become of me when we part