Poem

Poem

The Poets hand quivers-
With thoughts on edge of pen
The world upon their shoulders-
And races to begin.
They fling words onto a page
Before the thought will end.
Perspiration lay upon the brow-
A question, that will not end.
Wisdom feels the page-
None which they knew before,
Something pushes them on-
And they pay no thought to verse.
Invisible drops of blood fall-
Their soul written into prose;
The pen drops down-
Now; begins the poem.....

Hello, I'm Brooke. I saw that you are fairly new so I though that I would introduce myself. This poem was very good. It was enjoyable to read. I like the concept of the poem; a poet writing a poem about how poets write poems. Genius.

I thought I saw a little bit of errors like this:

writeholic wrote:
The Poets hand quivers-
With thoughts on edge of pen

I thought it should be written like this:

The Poet's hand quivers
With thoughts on edge of a pen

And I didn't really like the over use of dashes at the end of a line. But overall I liked it and I hope you continue the good work! Peace

Yes I though this was a really good poem as well. Great writing a poem about writing a poem

Could I suggest you change the title to 'Poet' instead of 'Poem'? Makes more sense I believe.


My one suggestion to improve it:

They fling words onto a page

I think it would read better using the present participle 'flinging' as opposed to 'They fling' the present.



Well done on this!

I'm not really a poet myself but I love the way you've captured the feeling that you just have to write, like there's something you have to say, a story you have to tell or whatever and you just need to get it down onto the page. I'm also inclined to agree with the suggestion about altering the title to "Poet" or perhaps "The Poet" but it's just a thought.

Invisible drops of blood fall-
Their soul written into prose

- I thought that was a particularly beautiful image.

Overall I thoroughly enjoyed it, and it's inspired me to go write something and shift this silly writer's block! Great job

All I have to say is "WOW" intense stuff. It fit together well, and I was just over all amazed by it.

PM me when you make a new poem!-Curly

Overall I liked it. There were a couple of grammatical errors, such as in the first line, it should be Poet's, not Poets. I likedd the imagery. and the language of the poem, it was pretty freakin' sweet!

My favorite part:

Something pushes them on-

And they pay no thought to verse.

Invisible drops of blood fall-

Their soul written into prose;

The pen drops down-

Now; begins the poem.....

This ending was very good, I liked how the ending of the poem tells us about the poem beginning. Good job!

writeholic wrote:Poem

The Poets hand quivers-
With thoughts on edge of pen
The world upon their shoulders-
And races to begin.
Beautiful intro. I know the feeling!
They fling words onto a page
Before the thought will end.
Perspiration lay upon the brow-
A question, that will not end.
Nice imagery and well done with capturing the writing process.
Wisdom feels the page-
None which they knew before,
Something pushes them on-
And they pay no thought to verse.
Invisible drops of blood fall-
Their soul written into prose;
The pen drops down-
Now; begins the poem.....
Nice ending!

I have nothing constructive to say... I'll be giving this a star now!

I love poems about poetry, and I liked this very much:)


"The Poet's hand quivers-
With thoughts on edge of pen,
The world upon their shoulders-
And races to begin. Perfect beginning. I love it
They fling words onto a page For some reason, I don't really like the word 'fling' in this line... but don't feel the need to change it, if you don't want.
Before the thought will end.
Perspiration lay upon the brow- This line has one too many syllables for your rhythm. I rather think you could cut out 'lay' completely.
A question, that will not end. I think it would improve the rhythm to change 'will not' to 'won't and get rid of that extra syllable
Wisdom feels the page-
None which they knew before,
Something pushes them on- I think this line needs another syllable. Maybe make it "pushes them onward?
And they pay no thought to verse.
Invisible drops of blood fall-
Their soul written into prose; I don't really understand why you say 'written into prose'. Isn't this supposed to be about writing a poem? Maybe I'm missing something...
The pen drops down-
Now; begins the poem....." You're ending could not be better, except I don't see the purpose of the semi-colon. I'd get rid of it


Good job!


*adna*