Ever since I kindled my first fire in the winter of 2000 I have always disliked a fire’s final hour. Letting a fire die is like letting a relationship wither away to nothingness. It’s painful to see an object of my effort die, something I have nurtured from a single spark to a raging fire. Piece by piece, I feed this extraordinary feat of nature, not realizing fire’s sole purpose. Destruction.
I stare at fire, it’s impossible not to. Not blinking, but always thinking. Fire puts a spell on me, my eyes don’t become heavy and my mind becomes clear, clear to think, clear to ponder. However, the fires purpose soon takes over. Instead of a wonderful, elegant being, it begins to destroy itself; it destroys the very thing that keeps the fire alive. The kindling. It burns its resources, it engulfs everything. Its controls the fate of everything it touches, with the sole exception of itself. Fire is ignorant; it has no way of knowing that its actions only lead to its demise. From conception fire has one destiny; death.
That destiny is oddly shared by any living thing, even relationships. They all have a prime and they all die. This destiny is our destiny, the destiny of anything or anyone created either by man or nature.
A fire will always be born, flourish, and then smother away. This is true for everything that is born. No matter the effort, material, or conditions. All things end, my sole desire is that they would end with the same joy as when they were born.
Good is life, bad is death. Why must bad twist and turn the contents of my soul into tangled knots? Why must good feel as if there is no bad? If good warned of bad then perhaps bad would not be so trying, so hurtful. Why must bad feel as if there is no good? If bad warned of good then perhaps good would not seem so impossible. The two co-exist but do not acknowledge each other, which is the downfall of fire. Fire always sees its smothering as an eternal end, however, all that is needed is another resource to devourer.
Nothing is eternal; not good, not bad. They do not contain the power to last forever; a drop of bad will ruin good just as easily as a drop of good will ruin bad.
This is the truth of the matter, the truth that I have discovered to be evident in every case of fire, of life and of love. This truth will only render assistance to those who accept it. If the truth is denied than havoc will spread.
What is true for fire is true for everything. No adaptation can lead us away from this, this is our destiny. We are to be born, flourish, and then smother away. Just like fire, just like love. No exceptions, no loop holes. The laws of nature cannot be defied like the laws of man. There are no final clauses or small print, no terms and conditions of use or a dotted line to sign on.
I have accepted this truth, and embraced its qualities. This is life only as some know it; most are ignorant like the fire. Even those who read this essay will not be endowed with knowledge, they will remain ignorant. You cannot achieve this knowledge through literature, but only through personal discovery and contemplation.
No one can find answers for you. You must seek them. So either seek or remain still, but you will not be sought after.
