Through the pain {part 3}

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Once again, i had no editing time but i wanted to get this out its really rubbish critques and comment much appreciated

Good!

But very frustrating, at least for me. I absolutely loathed how Julia talked to people. I wanted to scream at her myself. She was being so rude, especially to that guy that hit her. I mean, that was just plain mean! Ug...I guess that's just how she acts but your MC really gets under my skin! -lol-

Umm, I did notice that when you write dialogue, you use the capital letters in your tags when they aren't needed. For example:

"Miss Carter, I need you to come down to the office," a young mother said to the young girl.

"But I don't want to," Eliza Carter uttered with a small moan.

Do you see what I mean? With the comma's and small lettering in the tags. I'm sorry that I can't give a better explanation for what I mean...well I guess I can use one of yours.

"Julia Reyes... Julia, it's me." He said, obviously not on the same page as me.

Like this. You should have a comma after "me" instead of a period and a small "h" on "he" instead of it being capitial. Umm, I'm not really good at explaining this sort of thing so I guess if you need more advise...just PM me and I'll try my best to explain.

Other than that, everything looked good. I do have some things to point out.

The emotional aspect of your story

I think you did really well with it. But I think you could more in-depth with Julia's feelings. I felt that I didn't quite understand her anger at some points. So maybe have more her thoughts or feelings show.

Details

That seemed good too. You did really well with the description of the hospital room. But I must say, being the description freak I am , I would have loved to see MORE!

Besides that, you had me hooked. I'm trying to figure out how the Dr. Jones is and how he knows Julia. And what she is going to say to Lucas...

Can't wait to read more!