The Fair Goes By

The Shriners with their tiny bikes
Are children with their candy stripes
Catching
The sun light leapt from to and fro.

The mothers with their summer hair
Are children also, without those cares
Withering
As potted plants back home.

If people could be
As they are when the fair goes by.

The fathers with their quarter-pockets
Are children, in memory also
Dispensing
The ice cream their father’s gave before.

The cattle folks with their polished bells
Are children (but only they can tell)
Whistling
Among other things, some forgotten mini-tune.

If people could be
As they are when the fair goes by.

The lovers with their morning fights
Are children who’ll be up all night
loving
In a way like there was no tomorrow!

I rather like this poem, even though i have an aversion to longer poems
The subject matter was very appealing and it really amused me. More so given the expressive and graphic use of words.
However, you might want to re-think your structure.

kris
x

Tharlam Gyatso wrote:The Shriners with their tiny bikes
Are children with their candy stripes
Catching
The sun light leapt from to and fro.

Who exactly are the Shriners? Do you mean Shiners? I a sorry but this does not make much sense to me.

Veracelle wrote:

Tharlam Gyatso wrote:The Shriners with their tiny bikes
Are children with their candy stripes
Catching
The sun light leapt from to and fro.

Who exactly are the Shriners? Do you mean Shiners? I a sorry but this does not make much sense to me.

It was not asked that it make sense to anyone.

Poetry is not a paint-by-numbers affair.

However:

The Shriners, as mentioned in the poem, are a charitable organisation mostly dealing with childrens hospitals and burns units. They can be seen throughout many parades in North America wearing their uniform bright red fez and riding small scale motor bikes and such. As this poem was about a parade it seemed only right to include them.

Poetry is not black and white, please remember poetic license allows the poet some degree of alteration in both meaning and pronunciation. So tharlam is right to use shriners, even so thank you for your clarification =).

The Poem was very well written, only one little comment:

"The cattle folks with their polished bells

Are children (but only they can tell)

Whistling

Among other things, some forgotten mini-tune."

That whole stanza is a bit confusing, but it may just be my inability to grasp who the cattle folk are.

9/10-Your use of imagery made me smile, because this poem shows how at the circus all walls are broken down. The oldest of us become like little children.

Good work, excellent poem!
~I think I can, I think I can, I think I can~

You pulled me in from the moment I read the title. And the poem more than lives up to the expectations I had when I saw the title. The words paint a golden image with warmth across my mind. It's like walking through a fairground after the crowds are gone. It's a "feel good" poem, but there is also a simple but profound message that I can't yet translate. Simply wonderful!

[quote="

The cattle folks with their polished bells
Are children (but only they can tell)
Whistling
Among other things, some forgotten mini-tune.

If people could be
As they are when the fair goes by.

The lovers with their morning fights
Are children who’ll be up all night
loving
In a way like there was no tomorrow![/quote]
i really like this poem. it has a strong feel to it which is added to because of the length. the imagery within the poem is good and it is greatly helped by the gerund phrase that is placed in the center of every other line. also the line after every other line is shorter than the rest and also has no rhyme scheme which fits it in well like a piece of a puzzle. it also serves to add more of your voice and reflection. i think this poem clearly depicts what goes on when the fair goes by and therefore it is a really good poem and skilfully done.