The Damper Parts of Spring

This is the first thing I've contributed here and I'm really nervous 'cause everyone here seems so good already!!! So anyway, here is my poem.

There is something I cannot help,
No matter how I try.
The air of spring smells so nice
So fresh and new, the sky.

And wide and open blueness
Takes away my pain,
And makes me laugh, a-child like.
The joy I could not feign.

But like spring dampens, on the ground,
I dampen on us all.
The puddles I can’t handle,
The brightness, not at all.

Okay, so that's it. I want everyone to be brutally honest so I can get better!!

--Cassie

Firstly, my dearest. WELCOME! welcome to our happy little community
I that you really enjoy it here.

OK LETS DO THIS THANG!

I really liked the overall feel of the poem, it had a sweetness to it, an intoxicating innocence. lovely.
The descriptions you used were very evocative.
Your structure was not 100% perfect, but it is hard to match beats exactly...

cassie17 wrote:The joy I could not feign.

Best line in the poem! FACT! It just sums up the joy that spring/summer brings. I have SAD (seasonally affect depression) so that summizes how the season makes me feel.

I loved it a lot.
Well done.
Good luck with the rest of your writing

Kris (the first magnificent emperor of the moon)
xxx

I loved it! It didn't give quite the cheery feel that most spring poems do, but it gave an emotional feel! The first line of the poem didnt quite agree with the rest, but I sense that its ok . Good Job!