Hiding in Neverland

Hello all. This was written during my Green Day-esque songwriting phase. I'm past that phase now, but I kinda like this; it's simple and fun.

Hiding in Neverland
Hey stranger, you resemble my best friend
but I don't know who you are any more.
Do you remember this place that we once were,
Or do you find memories sore?

A harsh reminder, a reality check,
You're not the man that you want to be.
You're just a kid, who still needs his mother and
that is good enough for me.

Hey stranger, what have you been up to
or do I even want to know?
'Cause there is a dark cloud, hovering above you
approaching as you pretend to grow.

A harsh reminder, a reality check,
You're not the man that you want to be.
You're just a kid, who still needs his mother and
that is good enough for me.

So is it what you thought it was?
And have you any regrets?
Do you think I'm fooled by your 'I'm a tough-guy' threats?
You will never fool me, so don't take a stand
You are and always were just Hiding in Neverland.

Chorus to fade.

This is a really good piece, I can imagine it in song form.

It ran smoothly and I am a fan of repetition.

Could there have been more depth behind the words?

Great work.

Alainna
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I agree with Alainna, this is a good piece. I loved this:

Hey stranger, you resemble my best friend
but I don't know who you are any more.

Dunno why just good good luck with the rest of your work!
miyaviloves

Thanks guys, and yeah, that first line just popped into my head and it stuck there. I loved it too, but then again, I am biased!

Yep, as the others before, this was fantastic!

There aren't many 'lyrics' around here that I've read where I can actually imagine being songs, I read it twice over and I can imagine someone singing these words. You definetly put it in the right category.

Oh, I love the chorus, very good, that was the part I could imagine being sung.

Keep the words flowing!

- Fabien

So... it's my first song I've read in YWS and I have to say I almost love it! Almost, because I can't really decide whether I like this very much or love it. Haha.

The first stanza and the last line are my favourites. I'm definitely going to read some more by you!

See you around,
Demeter x