DO NOT ENTER
I warn you, beware
You’re entering the room of a teenage girl
Her private domain, her forbidden lair (full stop!)
If you come in unannounced
She will snap around your head
She will bite down on your ankles hard
And then crawl back into bed.
If you manage to sneak past the beast
And survive her horrible snoring (bit juvenille word- "horrible"- changed)
I assure you, it’s not really worth it
The room will turn out to be quite boring
Posters of notorious monsters align the wall
And rats scurry along the floor (Haha- great)
The hamper is teeming with stained crimson rags
And Frankenstein guards the door (again, full stop!)
In the closet you must not go
For I warn you, it will not be pleasant (Need a comma)
Two monsters hungrily continue their meal
Of chicken, bacon, duck and pheasant (forced rhyming here- amend. It doesn't sense)
Again I warn you not to go in
Even if your family and friends are cheering
Oh, I forgot to mention if you’re reading this aloud
The beast has pretty darn good hearing (Bravo, good ending)
Haha. This was great! I personally like this one better. Just take a look at the things I pointed out if you want to. Only if you want to.
Hope and Best Wishes,
Eimear xx