On Catching a Falling Star

Something a little older, recently reworked just a bit. Thought I'd give it a go.

--

A star high in the heavens
Falls gloriously to earth
Streaking through the night sky
Bright in death as once in birth
Since everyone knows
It’s better to burn
Out
Than simply fade
Away

I liked it a lot. Especially the ending, reminded me of Bon Jovi's These Days.

I really like the first four lines. I didint like the last five lines as much because your poem takes on a slightly moralistic tone which I didint like. However that is just my opinion and I thought the first four lines were magic

I'm the opposite of Myriadne, I liked the last four lines the best. For some reason, the first 4 lines didn't do much for me, but the lst 4 made the poem, in my humble opinion.

i like how the first few lines set you up to think it's something very simple and light but then you reveal a deeper thought. though i'm not sure i like how you made out and away seperate lines. i can see it both ways but i think the impact would be more subtle if they weren't and that could add to it. of course that's just how i see it and it might be the opposite for most people so it'd be best to go with your gut cause the way i see it both would be good.

i like it, but the "everyone knows" in the 5th line didn't seem right, though.

The visual effect of the poem is not at its maximum potential.

Example:

Than simply fade
Away

Would most likely have the impact of fading away if it looked more like:

Than simply
f a d e
a w a y

I don't like that either. Anyway, it's your poem not mine. I liked the poem's meaning, but the impact of it visually should be improved upon for a maximum feeling of completeness. You seem to strive for that by putting "Away" on a line to itself, but it lacks something. What that is, I know not. Like I said, it's your poem. I'm just pissy, so don't worry if you think my suggestions are stupid.

I really liked this, the use of imagery, and the shortness. I seem to like short poems, they just seem to say more, how ironic. you definitly did so, even though it's small, it say a lot. Good job, i give this 3 thumbs up...oh wait, only 2, nevermind.

JEnni