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[pre] The Good Guy

Once upon a time,there was a good guy,
But the time has gone by;
Starts to take drugs,
Hang out with the bad folks;
I really liked this boy;
I even loved this boy;
What happened?
Is there a happy end?
No never will be
Stop with dope my Son, unleash your hope my Son
Im begging you.I love you

N.G.
[/pre]

There is a couple things with this poem.

1. The text was strange. It was hard to read, the second to last and the last
lines, Ic ouldn't really make out.

2. I really liked the starting lines, but, yes, there is always a but, at the end, the lines got long and didn't quite go so well.

I hope this helped!

Good Luck!

-- M.B.Author

It's a bit of a cliche idea. Describe the state that this boy has fallen into.

You should totally expand this. Describe more than tell us what is going on. Maybe read it out loud or look up things that could help with this story to make it more of a description instead of a telling. (I really hope this makes sense since I'm in kind of a hurry and can't critique properly at the moment )

Keep Writing!

I'm sorry I thought this was corny and bad. I think with a little work, it can be better. Best wishes!

This poem seemed scatterbrained. I couldn't really get a notion of what exactly happened. Might want to work on that.

It's not a bad idea, but it needs some fleshing out to make it more interesting. Instead of just telling us what happened, show the story of this guy's descent. Perhaps a scene from each part, like a "good guy" scene, a "druggie" scene, and an "I loved him" scene. It would also help if you clarified the relationship the narrator has with this person. You said you "loved this boy" (sounded more like romantic love), then you say "My Son". Who is the narrator? A friend? Girlfriend? Parent? God?

On a secondary note, I'd advise against using "Pre" format. It looks strange and distracts us from the poem itself.

Keep writing!