rain, wind, fire

Rain, Wind, and Fire

Rain
Falling silently
Crack of thunder
Blinding flashes of light
Rain

Wind
Colorless wind
Blowing leaves everywhere
Disrupting the silence of midnight
Unstoppable

Burning bright
A burning warm sensation
Tongues of fire licking hungrily
Consuming all in its large wake of flames
Mass destruction

Kind of air-headed and elementary. There is a certain technique you were striving for; however, you did not pull it off, properly. What you were aiming for, I think, can be said to be like Dickinson's elipsis usage, where you start a sentence and jam it with imagery, and leave the reader to form his or her own conclusions about the meaning. This did not happen. This became a literal translation of each event, as they occur. While you had some good images, you essentially became a fractal of cliche.

I agree with Brad when he says you had good imagry but they fell into cliche. But I do like this poem. Work on the flow though, this seemed very choppy to me.

"Tongues of fire licking hungrily
Consuming all in its large wake of flames"

I love these lines, if you revise this keep these

fyi: no offense taken, i am always open to comments. i dont consider my writing skills that great so i try to c what people say i ned to improve on and i try to improve on it. thanks for the crit 8-[

For "Wind," I don't think you should put "wind" again in the stanza, since you are describing it. It is like explaining what a words mean and using the word in the explanation.