The Blue Rose Midnight Poem (I, II, III)

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wrote this along time ago, I like the second one the best. any comments or critiques welcome. CL

The Blue Rose Midnight

I.
in the
blue rose midnight
lightning flashes;
two seconds
away from death.
stranded on the desert
away from
the island
full of rain
just over the hill,
in the distance
i see the
blue rose midnight.


II.
his coat shimmers
in the
blue rose midnight
warding off
the Red Laces’ lusting eyes.
his heart waits
closetted in,
in the blue rose midnight.
letting raw emotion heal.
in the dark, the
gin and tonic
goes down nicely
in the
blue rose midnight.
not like happier days
when liquor
would have burned,
this gin,
this tonic,
this feeling,
is much preferred
than the ache of
the blue rose midnight.


III.
she stands
in the blue rose midnight
serenading herself
with the lover’s tunes of the white knight
that has yet to
find her
in the castle built for two
passed the dark woods
passed the evil witch
who really doesn’t
feed children
to dogs
or
lock them in cages --
she just likes to watch
the fear
melt their eagerness

she stands in the
blue rose midnight,
dreaming of the
white knight
and his stead’s sheen shining
white in the sun,
blinding his enemies with

valor,
love,
pride,
strenght,
compassion,
clemency,
chivalry,
all qualities of a good white knight

he is her Galahad
Swathed in almond richness
and she is the golden chalice
that
he drinks his imortality from

she watches him
silhoutted in
the blue midnight
and watches him
brave the woods
trick the witch
and find her
castle built for two

even when reality
masks her loyalty
she keeps serenading herself in the
blue midnight
with sounds of love
from parted lips

though
she keeps believing
he never comes
Fraser: Stop stealing the blanket.
[Diefenbaker whines]
Fraser: You're an Arctic Wolf, for God's sake.
(Due South)

Hatter: Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress? (Alice)

Got YWS?




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Oh wow! That was so pretty. I'm sorry but I can't come up with any constructive critiquing besides...well done!
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.




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I really loved this, it was just so beautiful. I felt like I was in a fairytale...I especially liked the third one.
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.




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This has lots of charm to it. Just two suggestions: try to shorten the list of qualities of the knight just a bit to give each more meaning. Also try to slightly change he format of your lines (at points the poem becomes slightly confusing to read.) Other than that, good job.
"There is nothing impossible to him who will try."-Alexander the Great



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