I'll fly away

I’ll fly away
Oh Glory,
I’ll fly away in the morning
When I die, hallelujah by and by.
I’ll fly away

As I travel lone’ and far through a journey in my mind,
I’ll fly away.
Searching for a love like gold, deep down in my soul
Ohhhh I’ll fly away.

I’ll fly away
Oh glory
I’ll fly away in the morning,
When I die, hallelujah by and by.
I’ll fly away.

Here's an idea: spell your title correctly. It will predispose your critiquers to being kind.

This looks very much like the Christian Hymn I'll Fly Away, I would watch out for that, because using another's words without citation is considered plagiarism.

My two cents on this are that you need to rethink the repetition and the line breaks. I think you should, perhaps, reformat the longer lines.

Really the meat of your poem is the second stanza, you should keep that and elaborate on that part, and get rid of the rest.

Hope this helps; good luck.



Ta,
Cal.

it sorta iss........umm i guess i do need to fix that dont i?

yeah it looks like the other person's I'll Fly Away

i like this its good and it expresses someones (mabye yours) feelings and its good.
*sighs*
but im a little disapointed to hear you've taken the words and made them into your own.