Inspiration

2 posts
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Gender Female
Points 900
Reviews 268
I need an inspiration,
something sure and free.
It's as though the mist today
has cast its gloom o'er me,
and the rain has washed away
all the words I wish to say.

The too loud music
fills my mind, blocks out sound.
If it blocks out thought as well,
I find that I don't care.
I'll have to fetch ideas from elsewhere.

You call yourself a writer, pet,
and define this as one who
tells the truth.
But you are a writer of fictions.
You fear the truth, love, that you claim to
find security in.

While readers of your writings of fiction
acknowledge that they seek escape,—
escape from their real world, my sweet—
writers claim to hide a deeper meaning
in the words they so aptly use.
At least the first are honest, dear.
Last edited by Adnamarine on Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Half the time the poem writes me." ~Meshugenah




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 3925
Reviews 160
Overall, I thought the piece was great, but the last stanza confused things. I wasn't sure whether or not the writer was internally arguing with herself or thinking about someone else...it's not much of a problem, but I would check that to make sure that it doesn't accidentally lead other readers astray...
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It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
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