Silence is Golden

don't know how I feel about this poem but I thought I'd post it anyway... CL

Silence is Golden

The rip of the ivory blanched sheets
Smashes against the silence
The moans and cries that
Splatter crimson blood against
The white wash
Pull apart the threads of knowing
Knowing something, anything
That resembled safety
Safety and silence
(Safety and Silence)
The rips and tears that ooze blood
Echo those on sheersmooth skin
The squelching and purging
Happens then
Battering
The blood melts and pools with sweat
Making skin against skin stickyslick
Pushing, thrusting then
Passion then
But only for short swift sweet earthshattering moments
That shakeandshiver
Panting and moaning of a different kind
Rumbling tempest tendrils through stagnant air
There is no silence then
No safety and no silence
Sudden hastytasted kisses plaster to
Fragments of puzzlepieced irony
But no silence

Left alone tears
Staining ruptured
Sanguine mutilated cloths
Cracking sobs
The crescendo
Of the death party: syllogism
Of realty
Where safety is in silence
And silence is golden

Once again, I think some of the lines could be combined. Especially in the beginning. Towards the end, it doesn't seem choppy.

"Left alone tears
Staining ruptured
Sanguine mutilated cloths
Cracking sobs
The crescendo
Of the death party: syllogism
Of realty
Where safety is in silence
And silence is golden"

There was something about the rhythym here that I just can't explain. It's like one of those things you do but you aren't really trying to. I loved it though.

Silence is Golden

The rip of the ivory blanched sheets
Smashes against the silence
The moans and cries that
Splatter crimson blood against
The white wash
Pull apart the threads of knowing
Knowing something, anything
That resembled safety
Safety and silence
(Safety and Silence) - Is this a song? An echo, that is?
The rips and tears that ooze blood
Echo those on sheersmooth skin
The squelching and purging
Happens then
Battering
The blood melts and pools with sweat
Making skin against skin stickyslick
Pushing, thrusting then
Passion then
But only for short swift sweet earthshattering moments
That shakeandshiver
Panting and moaning of a different kind
Rumbling tempest tendrils through stagnant air
There is no silence then
No safety and no silence
Sudden hastytasted kisses plaster to
Fragments of puzzlepieced irony
But no silence

Left alone tears
Staining ruptured
Sanguine mutilated cloths
Cracking sobs
The crescendo
Of the death party: syllogism
Of realty
Where safety is in silence
And silence is golden


So let me get this straight. This poem is about.. a girl getting tortured.
Not a girl. I'm unaware of the gender. I don't think I payed attention enough.
Maybe ANYBODY getting tortured. Or maybe they aren't getting tortured.. maybe their life just sucks.
UGH. I DONT GET IT. I mean, I liked the poem. Descriptive, nice verbs and adjetives et cetera.
AH.
KEEP WRITING.



I DONT GET IT!!!