Used

Used


You always knew that I was a liar.
You knew that I was aiming higher.
You were never the object of my desire.

You always knew that I was a liar.
Come to me no more for envy or compassion,
I will only turn you away.
My promises were a pitiful sham, hiding the person I am.
You knew that I was aiming higher.

You knew that I was aiming higher.
Pronounce no more effusions of my innocence.
I was a worthless gold digger and
declare that you deserve better.
You were never the object of my desire.

You were never the object of my desire.
I'll drum this line again and again and tell you
I don't love you.

But I am a liar.

I like the idea more than the poem itself. I did like how your first three lines became the starting lines to your stanzas, but it needs work.

1.) Second stanza, third line, change I am to i was. You need to have the same tense.

2.) Your last real ruins the poem for me. It doesn't flow like all of the others and it is much short containing less for the reader.Try to lengthen it and word it better.

3.) The fact you put "But I am a liar." as your your last line was pretty good, but putting it alone was not for this piece I think. Try incorporating it within the rest of the piece.

I can't really see anything else, so just make those changes and you'll have a really good poem. Let me know when you make the changes okay.

I like the idea of the poem better than the poem itself as well, though I disagree with the person above me about the "But I am a liar." part. I believe the fact that it was so seperate from the rest of the poem created an illusion of suspense, I liked it!