Yelp

My Pets
I bought a dog,
I bought a frog,
I bought a cat,
I bought a rat,
My dog ate the frog,
And
My cat ate the rat,
While I yap,
My dog ate the cat.
While I roll over,
My dog gets run over,
I bought a bat.
I bought a gnat,
While I buy a cat,
The bat eats the gnat,
I saw a wild cat,
That ate the bat,
What do you think of that?


I know it is kinda kiddesh but like I said, it is an old poem. I know it is a little like "The Old Lady Who Swallowed The Fly." but not compleatly. Thanks very much if you read my poem and this (my add on.). Remember that I wrote this poem a long time ago (I do not know how long ago or when I wrote this poem but I do remember writing it.)... (I know I wrote this poem) Thanks for reading!

PS. I fixed Gnat.

It works as a nonsense poem, though I was wondering what a 'nat' was? Oh, and 'ran' should be 'run' over... I guess I'm not really sure what to make of this poem (hence the critique of minor grammatical things). I think its success would have to be measured in how much little kids like it... you should try reading it to a four or five year old and see what they think.

Keep writing,
Soph

A fun nonsense poem, it reminds me of poems I've read in children's literature magazines like Ladybug and Spider. On a minor note nat should be gnat. Other than that good job.

~®®§

Cute, cute. The title fits.

Nat should be spelled gnat, if you're talking about the insect.

I like this, it is kiddish, but also fun. I think you could improve it by regulating the rhythm, so the lines have a definite syllable pattern. It would flow better, and then you could say it faster, too.

Thanks for posting!

Jenna

I agree, it's kiddish, but sometimes those are the types of poems that are almost necessary to write. Sometimes I feel compelled to write something completely off the map, just so I can focus more on what I really want to say.

It's fun! It's a nice change of pace compared to some of the serious pieces I've gone through. Keep up the great writing! :]

Hehe! Aww, this one was cute. I think I might just have to diagram this so I get a better idea of what exactly happened, lol. But cute, fun little poems like this are the greatest. I like the rhyme scheme - it adds to the juvenile nature of the poem. Which is what makes it good, so take it as a compliment.

Hehe. This made me smile. I enjoyed it. Very cute. ^_^

You've been a great help in letting me practise critiquing poetry. Many thanks!

-Saint Razorblade
The Official YWS Pirate

Firearris wrote:My Pets
I bought a dog,
I bought a frog,
I bought a cat,
I bought a rat,
My dog ate the frog,
And
My cat ate the rat,
While I yap,
My dog ate the cat.
While I roll over,
My dog gets run over,
I bought a bat.
I bought a gnat,
While I buy a cat,
The bat eats the gnat,
I saw a wild cat,
That ate the bat,
What do you think of that?


I know it is kinda kiddesh but like I said, it is an old poem. I know it is a little like "The Old Lady Who Swallowed The Fly." but not compleatly. Thanks very much if you read my poem and this (my add on.). Remember that I wrote this poem a long time ago (I do not know how long ago or when I wrote this poem but I do remember writing it.)... (I know I wrote this poem) Thanks for reading!

PS. I fixed Gnat.

This is really good, Arris. Keep up the good work!

-Rick

It was cute and i agree with Jennafina about the title fitting

Very , Dr. suess meets the little old lady who swallowed a fly

I know that this was an old poem, and you are young, so had to be very young when you wrote this, unless you consider old like last year (The world will never know).
It was cute. But, it got very confusing.

And to answer the question at the end: I think that you had too many pets at the time. And who would want a gnat?

Keep on writing,

**L_A

Nice, I liked it, even the most adult of poets will write a kiddish poem, they are actually quite enjoyable. It was vary good. keep it up.... yo. hehe