When will Light come?

Here's something I whipped up last night.

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When will Light come?

The world is at rest,
The air is dead,
The sky is a velvet blanket of nothing.
All around is a thick, crisp darkness.
When will Light come?

Nothing stirs.
Time has frozen once again,
And I am left alone,
To think, to weep, to perish.
When will Light come?
Oh, when will Light come?

I’m drowning in darkness,
I can’t breathe.
The dreadful hands,
They choke me.
When will Light come?
Oh, when will Light come?

My tears are quickening,
My vision is blurring.
I scream into the night,
Can no one hear me?
When will Light come?
Oh, when will Light come?

My heart is racing,
I am scratched and tormented.
My screams are silent,
And drowned out by the cry of the Night.
When will Light come?
Oh, when will Light come?

Those screeching demons,
They haunt me.
I lose all hope,
And sink down, down, down into the black hole.
When will Light come?
Oh, when will Light come?

Broken, defeated, crushed,
My body is weak.
I am lost, I am searching,
I am waiting.
When will Light come?
Oh, when will Light come?

Suddenly,
A firm hand grasps me.
It pulls me up, up, up, and then,
Light!
I am warmed and embraced.
My tears are wiped away,
My wounds are healed.
Love fills my heart,
And I live once again.

Light has come,
Oh, glorious Light has come,
And I can face another day
In the arms of my Saviour.

This was actually pretty good! I liked it. Lol. Personally, I think it sounds like it could be a song. I'm not sure why, but it just does. I don't really have much to say, other than (and this may not even be an error) the repetion of "When will Light come? Oh, when will Light come?", gets a little old after about the third stanza. Try cutting a few, or possibly wording it differently.

Other than that, I don't really think I found anything else. Very nice!

~*Sydney*~

Hey thanks! After re-reading it, I can see what you mean by "When will Light come" getting old. I will definetely revise that.

Thanks a bunch!

Is this a metaphor for Christianity? It may not be, but the way that 'Savior' was capitalized, that was the way I took it.

Either way, it was a beautiful poem. I'm not a poetry critic (I dabble at the most) but I thought this was pretty good for being 'whipped up' as you put it. The imagery was so vivid and almost abstract in the same time. Lovely.

I dunno about the comment on the Light coming. It just reinforces the longing, the wanting for the Light to come. It is repetitive, but there are some things that are. It's nice, I think, but, like I said, I'm no poetry critic.

I really did like this, no matter how you meant it. *applause*

~GryphonFledgling