misery is a painting

misery is a painting

misery is a painting,
turns all color to gray.
misery is a painting,
highlights every fray.
misery is a painting,
darkens all the light.
misery is a painting,
takes hope out of sight.
misery is a painting,
abstract dark sky.
misery is a painting,
bloody tears to cry.
misery is a painting,
more than words can tell.
misery is a painting,
or fire in a burning hell.
misery is a painting,
that time cannot erase.
misery is a painting,
full of broken hearts to lace.
misery is a painting,
but only time may tell.
misery is a painting,
whether earth is a place called hell.

written_on_my_heart,

As far as poems go, this is not really that exciting or different. It reads like any of the numerous emo poems out there. And, if that is what you are going for then that's awesome for you. But, I personally think this poem could be so much better. First, I scrap the repetition, it is rather childish. I really like the idea of misery is a painting, but most of your examples of how misery is a painting are vague. Also, the rhyme doesn't work and makes it seem like trivial and to be blunt, childlish as the repetition.

Hope this helps, happy rewrites.
Cal.

Ok Cal. is right, you could do without the repetition. While reading you could easily lose your place, because ever other line is the same. The poem does not exactly tell why misery is a painting, I like the idea, but it is only saying that misery sucks. So my advise is to say that to tell the same message while sticking mainly to the concept of painting. So once you work with it, I am confident that you can turn this into an awesome poem.
good luck!





[quote] "The strong take from the weak, but the smart take from the strong." -"The Rule of Four."

I also agree that there is a little too much repitition.

Obove all I love it...

PM me if you want to share poery ideas...I love poetry of all kinds...