Columbia: Cherry Blossoms

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Last edited by Phoebe on Sun Feb 03, 2008 12:37 am, edited 2 times in total.
What would Brad do?




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I really like it.Your imagery is beautiful, and I love how you tell the story. I love;
"The spring snowed in its own way
and pollen dusted her hair yellow."

I'd change the last "up" to "upwards" as I think it sounds more natural, and I'd extend the last sentence as I don't think it sounds finished. I'd specify what has been plucked.

I like the simplicity of the last line.

A really lovely poem overall.
"Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise."
-Maya Angelou




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Indebted for the critique and the advice, as always, Jasmine--thank you, thank you!
What would Brad do?



Democracy! Bah! When I hear that word I reach for my feather Boa!
— Allen Ginsburg