If school rules were a family, then gum is the black sheep, the one that never follows.
The heavenly aesthetics of chiclet smacking against cheek and tongue should be revered, but only by one’s self. Its substance has taken on a high aura amongst the teenies and tweenies, an almost cult-like following school. Chewing undetected is a valued skill, and the teacher who allows the ignorance of rule to interject his or her students with purely euphoric sugar can only be described with one word: cool.
Mystically, gum is worth its weight in quarters or even in some desperate times (e.g. 5th period), in dollar bills. Even if one could buy a 3-pack for 99 cents at Wal-Mart, it doesn’t include that “Ha-ha-I’m-not-doing-what-you-told-me” feeling like buying from a fellow student; the defiance, as described in the words of The Beatles, in Revolution:
You say you want a revolution,
Well, you know, we all want to change the world…
…And you know it’s gonna be, alright!
It is going to be alright, when every chew is sticking it to The Man.
Yet, like anything else forbidden, it’s only fun until you’re caught.
Lunch detentions? Some.
Time-outs? Widespread.
And most, horribly, (quite distasteful, really), the totalitarian enforcement of spitting out the precious gum? Every time. As one could say, bless their poor rubbery souls.
Why do most teachers detest gum, in all its mint and/or pink greatness? Is it because, like all other great things, it must come to an end, and often, prematurely?
A proposal shall lead unto this issue: just remove the rule.
Familiar scenes come to mind: teacher finds gum under the desks, is disgusted, bans gum for the entirety of eternity; students moan but secretly rebel, etc. etc. – as all described before. Unwanted gum sticking out to say “Hi!” to unmerciful teacher eyes in desks is the singular purpose for gum-haters, but it really far underweighs its benefits.
Studies have shown that chewing gum while taking tests reduces stress levels, therefore increasing mental acuity and awareness, all leading up to higher test scores. If this principle can be applied in the face of a test question such as F ≈ ½ C3A∞√1, then it can certainly be applied anywhere else. Besides, if gum were to be liberated from the clutches of rule, then there would quite actually be less gum in the desks, for students only do it so they would not get caught; contrary to popular belief, if given the chance, 8th graders are not so lazy as to not have the initiative to spit out a wad of gum into the trash can.
The psychological impact of having that constant fear of getting caught would be lifted – therefore increasing productivity, if and only if, gum was made legal.
When, with all its prime benefits, would gum then be made so? Students can only hope that the administration hears our plea sometime in the near future, for our, and all following generations’, future.
