Marine

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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 203
This is about my brother and he's now in the Marines... so yeah.
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He was a boy who was your son.
Now he's a solider with a gun.
He loved to be around,
now he does push-ups on the ground.

He was a boy who might have cried,
now he holds his fear deep inside.
He always wanted to play guitar;
now he drives a tank instead of a car.

You wanted him to wear a helmet with his bike;
but it was loose and not right.
Now he makes sure it's bullet proof and tight.

His childhood is gone,
but your the one who taught him to be strong.
We're meant to be one
I know we are...
If I am the Sky
Then you are my star... ™




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Gender Male
Points 16552
Reviews 376
This is a nice poem to give to a family member. It's sort of sweet and I'm sure your brother would appreciate it if you were to give it to him.

I would cut down on some of the end rhyme. Play with the rhyme, really. The third and fourth stanzas are good examples of half-rhyme and I would try to experiment with that throughout the poem.
Perception is everything.



i could be a morning person if morning happened around noon.
— Fern