by x-mas we'll all be dead (lyrics)

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so we finally get what we deserve
finally get every-thing
cross it out from the gift list
all the kids get The toys that they wanted
parents all so happy
all those special cookies
misatoe and more
well too bad we wont receive them because by x-mas we'll all be dead

why do we wait til x- mas
because by x-mas we'll be dead
crash in to a fence or two
lose control so fast
and all the Rich fags
will get wart you wanted again
why wait til x-mas
by then we'll be dead
so put R.I.P
on to the list because by x-mas we'll all be dead

why even waste your time
shopping til you drop
using up all that money to get what your children want
forget about not being naughty
because Santa doesn't ever check that list
he's probably getting drunk right now
and falling down the stairs
so much for Jolly old saint nick
because he's going on crack again

why do we wait til x- mas
because by x-mas we'll be dead
crash in to a fence or two
lose control so fast
and all the Rich fags
will get What you wanted again
why wait til x-mas
by then we'll be dead
so put R.I.P
on to the list because by x-mas we'll all be dead

so you make a wish
(make a wish)
and hope it does come true
but when it does
your soul will be a ghost
and we'll come to haunt you
we'll take you with us fast
and show all those rich fags
and steal all their cash

why do we wait til x- mas
because by x-mas we'll be dead
crash in to a fence or two
lose control so fast
and all the Rich fags
will get What you wanted again
why wait til x-mas
by then we'll be dead
so put R.I.P
on to the list because by x-mas we'll all be dead
Last edited by shar_shar_says_rawr on Fri Jul 27, 2007 11:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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Try using spellcheck cuz this is irri-tating.




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sorry i was in a rush
And if my lungs stilll let me breathe, will you be there for me?




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[s]wat[/s]. What. WHat.

That's just one word. It's "to" not "2" and 'cause or 'because' not "cuz".

Show some semblance of professionalism. If you don't care about your piece, why should anyone else?
The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck of his whole damn life — and one is as good as the other.
Ernest Hemingway




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I would have to agree wtih Whence and Ennui - the concept of your poem is so obscured and hidden by the poor presentation that the reader gets distracted before he or she even reaches the conclusion.

... if you had time to come back and inform Ennui that you were in a rush, I wonder why you lacked time to go back through your piece and revise it to reflect a proper command of the language?



DD




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Dont post things you rushed through. It shows a rather large lack of caring for your work, we're not going to do it for you. We offer help and advice but it helps to look as though you tried to do an amazing job.

As well, it appears you have neglected to read the rules of posting your work. I checked your posts and you were supposed to critique/review at least 2 other pieces before posting your own work.
"Maybe Senpai ate Yuka-tan's last bon-bon?"
----Stupei, Ace Defective




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watch your spelling and grammar but for the most part it was pretty good :elephant:
"Don't be afarid of the darkness, for when it's dark you can see the stars." - Marching Band Family 2008.




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It was nice but it was a bit distracting because of the grammatic errors.



How can I be king of the world? Because I am king of rubbish. And rubbish is what the world is made of.
— Kate DiCamillo, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane