Missing You

I really like this poem. It captures the essense of missing someone really well. I especially like the lines:

It's me jamming the circuits
with the music we made love to.

This reminds me of a movie I once watched which made me think, we all have that special song dont we, when we're in a relationship. The one that is special to us..

It's the hours spent trying to find
an artistic pattern
in the arrangement of dead leaves.

I could really fell the the aimless feeling you get, when something's missing in your life.

It is the star you scratched into my mirror
rising from its broken frame
and lighting up the night sky.

I love the creativeness in this line. Its like how you scratch those doodles in the steam on the mirrors after a shower. I could feel the presence of the girl who the person's missing.

Oh Brad... this is beautiful. Really encapsulates the entirety of missing someone -- how everywhere you look, every insignificant thing you do, is a reminder of some significant memory, some intense feeling that he's there.

Loved the wine glass line.

And the last stanza? Beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes, love.

So simple, yet so meaningful. I love it.

Brad, I have to say, you may be a harsh critique-uhm.. er, but you are a gentle poet. Oh the irony.

I liked this, it was pretty easy to read and the emotion you filled it with really got through to me. You put that boring old love poem back in it's place and made it seem less like a cliched mess.

Good work,
GingerLove

I loved the last stanza th best, particularly the last line. I don't know how to describe what I feel about it but I love it. Ingenious.

Maybe I'm just totally oblivious to the symbolism in the first part of it (which s most likely true) but I don't really start to understand what you're saying until the wineglass bit. I mean the title helped me get it but it was a little hard for me. Not that's it's bad or anything, but well like I said, right over my head. Whoosh!

i loved this. period.

It makes you feel like you just lost someone, not just a sad break up, but really lost someone. I can't explain it, but it makes you feel. Its been a while sense I have read a good poem that does that. Loved it.
Cat ^^

Now that I've read some of your poetry, I can recognize [to some extent] your style.
It tends to be vividly emotional, but you always infer the feeling; you never say it outright. That's good--show don't tell, right?
In this poem and the others I've read, you've always managed to make everything relate. Like this:

It's the slow, painful cartography of need--
This line is the rogue river,
and this line is a boy throwing
skipping stones in the water.

It's awesome how you tied together all of your ideas there. ^.^


Urgh, I hate it when I hate nothing to suggest. But that seems to happen a lot with me these days...
Anyways, I've not yet experienced something like what you portrayed in this poem, but even so I can almost physically feel your loss. Which is kinda creepy. In a good way.

Keep writing!
-Ayra

I really liked this poem. It was so sweet and sad. The descriptions and memorie type things were really good.

is like calculating the frequency

Shouldn't it be, Is like calculating the frequency

Apart from that there were no mistakes. The style was... different. Very broken up. I liked that.

It's the wine glass breaking in my hand.

I really liked this line.

Overall it was a great poem.

I loved this. I've never had such a great loss in my life, but I've watched people losing a lot. Exspecially this year. In your poem you put into words, what was written right there on their faces. I could find every one of them in this poem.

I really liked the last stanza. Can't quite explain why. It's just very real...

Keep writing such wonderful poetry.
~Kalli