A Bomb With A Brother Named Atom

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* Just a little personal thank you to Crysi who inspired me with concept of two twin bombs ... After I finished this, I knew good things come out of the bad.*

"A Bomb With A Brother Named Atom"

Just this evening a bomb exploded in the living room.
Little did he know, that bomb had a brother named Atom
which burst upon his daughter two thousand miles away.
As these two twins ignited precisely at the same time
they succeeded in replicating each other's damage,
exempting both one daughter and one son from their homes.
Through words they find solace within each other's thoughts.
You can learn more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
~ Plato




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Mr. Belcourt,


Consider:

This evening, a bomb exploded
in the living room; it left behind
a brother named Atom
two thousand miles away.

As these twins ignited,
they succeeded in replicating
the other's damage, shrapnel
and fragments the same:

one son and one daughter
without fathers, and words
the only bridge between here
and tomorrow.


Take care!
Brad
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson




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Amazing! This must be good, if Brad didn't say anything crushing! :) It was interesting, and a funny subject. I'm not sure if there was supposed to be a special point to it, though?
"TV makes sense. It has logic, structure, rules, and likeable leading men. In life, we have this. We have you." -Abed Nadir




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if Atom is capitalized, then Bomb should be as well, since you are personifying the Bomb.

I'd split up the stanzas and condense the lines, as Brad showed.

I love the general idea though, about two people going through similar harmful experiences but finding comfort in eachother because they can identify with eachother.
Be obscure clearly - E. B. White


Got YWS?




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Neat poem, very original.

Brad makes it even better.
Calvin : You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes : What mood is that?
Calvin : Last-minute panic.




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Humorous I think!Cool!
"A good plot is like a dream.If you dont write down your dream on paper the moment you wake up,the chances are you'll forget it and it'll be gone forever"-Roald Dalh.



To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.
— Proverbs 18:13