Incomplete

[pre]Incomplete


A pen runs out of ink.
A ruler falls to the floor.
A fierce shout of:
“No More!”

She is at the very brink.
She pulls at her hair.
She harshly sobs out:
“Not There!”

Her work is not finished.
Not done, incomplete.
She quietly gives in:
“Why Me?”[/pre]

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If you know what category this is supposed to go into, please tell me. I'm currently brain dead and can't figure out which one it is.

The rhyming isn't an asset to this poem; I think it should be rewritten without it.

I think that the first two stanzas could set the last one up very nicely; the idea behind them is kinda cool. But the last stanza doesn't really hold up to what it could have been. I think it should have made more connection between the "No More"/ "Not There"/ "Why Me" idea. There's this idea of incompleteness, but she only says "why me?" she "gives in" but what she says following that doesn't seem to be giving in as much as giving up.

Amelia wrote:The rhyming isn't an asset to this poem; I think it should be rewritten without it.

I think that the first two stanzas could set the last one up very nicely; the idea behind them is kinda cool. But the last stanza doesn't really hold up to what it could have been. I think it should have made more connection between the "No More"/ "Not There"/ "Why Me" idea. There's this idea of incompleteness, but she only says "why me?" she "gives in" but what she says following that doesn't seem to be giving in as much as giving up.

D; You're right! *goes off to rewrite* Thank you!