Haikus

Shadow:
Copying my moves,
it is my twin, yet different.
Lurking behind me.

Light:
It illuminates,
clearing your view, and curing.
Dark is cast aside.

Ink:
It is mere pigment.
Yet it may tell tales of life.
Magic, it shows worlds.(originally Magic, it stains paper)

Ant:
Busy, it scurries.
Carrying amazing weight.
Always quick, the ant.

Haiku:
Five syllables long,
Seven it is now in length,
And now back to five.

That was... strangely unique. I didn't quite get it. The description of each of your topics was pretty much complete and valid. That's good. I mean, describing something so complex in just a matter of 3 short lines! That's impressive! Less is more, eh? I liked the lively language. (I got that from my teacher) and it's put together in a dark, haunting way. It's like a riddle or a code you need to decipher. but once it's in, it really leaves an impression in your head and it leaves you spininng, you know, figuring out the "code" and that was nice.

It's kind of hard to explain where I'm confused. maybe i'm not confused... maybe i'm just picking it up slow today.. who knows?

great work!

Thanks! I was kind of surprised, actually, that I came up with anything worth posting, because all I was doing was coming up with random subjects, and with no planning at all, started writing , but I guess it turned out okay!

I'm all for haiku! I think you've done a good job with what is considered a normal haiku. They usually describe things, especially in nature. One rather large problem:

Magic, it stains paper.

Is this not six syllables?

Colleen

DANG IT! Hmm...

There we go! Tis fixed! I like this better anyway, because "stain" expresses negativity.

It is not! You see "stains" is two syllables.
"stay-eens"

Problem solved. Aet, I think you need to leave out those titles, I think it's cheating, when the whole point of your poem is to explain those things, they should be able to stand on their own, we should know what you're writing about without being told with a title that adds extra syllables.
And your poems can stand on their own.

Hmm. Most haikus I've seen have them (titles), but thanks for giving me that idea! Adds interest to it. I wasn't designing them to do that, explain what they are talking about, so I won't fix it here, but in future haikus I think I'll give myself that extra challenge. Thanks, CCM-chan!

P.S. My favorite haiku here is the last one, how it describes itself.

Unique indeed! The last verse especially grasped my liking, purely because it was witty and cleverly thought out.

Superb!

Teigan x

Thanks!

Wow. I liked them, since the are pretty much the opposite of my haikus. Yes, random stuff there... twinkies, progress reports... *sigh* But I liked them

I liked these a lot, especially the first and the last ones, and the ink one. I was put off a bit by the second 'now' in the last one, though. I think 'then' would work better, or maybe 'then' could replace the first now, or something, I don't know. Not saying you have to change it or anything, I just was bothered by the two 'now's in a row.

Anyway, great job with these, they worked out really well. It would be interesting to see if people could guess them without titles, like riddles. I'd love to see more!

~Sophie

Hehe wow these are all fantastic. Haikus aren't the easiest things in the world and you have describred all your topic fantastically.
I can't see anything you need to change (:

Hey, these are great. You've really mastered the form. I'm not sure about the last line of "Ink." I think it could be more powerful.
The last two were my favourites. They had such a sense of direction. The haiku one was really clever, and perfectly communicated.

I liked all of them a lot, the ant one less so even though there's really nothing to dislike about it. I would also have to say that the "Magic, it shows worlds" line is a definite keeper. Also the last haiku was hilarious, not to mention completely classic. Two thumbs and a big toe up.