Cycle

An unearthly calm has settled on the land.
The joyous sounds of the woods have ceased:
The birds do not sing, the leaves do not dance,
The air has the sense of uneasy peace.

The dust falls slowly to the earth,
The war cries of soldiers have long since stopped.
A deathly chill envelopes the field
To cover the bodies of men who've dropped.

Two-by-two, the bodies lay,
Killed in the midst of a violent attack,
And the bodies bake in the heat of the sun,
The bones dry up, splinter, and crack.

The living ones have up and left,
Leaving comrades here to rot.
There will be no heroes here,
Just the ones that time forgot.

The ground is red with the blood
Of fathers, brothers, sons, and friends,
Shed for the sake of another's rage,
A rage which forces life to end.

The bodies decay over time,
Enriching the earth with nutrients,
Resetting the land to prepare
For the next wave of battlements.

I thought that this was really good. It flowed well for the most part, and I like how the story unfolded. I love "uneasy peace', and the last two lines of the third stanza.
I liked the repetition of the "a" sound in the first line. It flowed well. If I'm nitpicking, I'd say that line three could be stronger.
I think I'd get rid of a word in the seond line of teh second stanza, maybe either "war" or "have". I might try a different word instead of "reaches", something more gentle, maybe something like "blankets" or "now masks, or "enbalms". I'm not sure about the last line here, I think "the bodies of the men who dropped" sounds a little awkward. I'm not sure why, it could be the rhyme or the length of teh line, but I can't quite put my finger on it (which I know isn't very helpful.)
I liked the next verse, the imagery was very powerful, and I loved "two by two" as it showed comradship and was tragic in that it reminded the reader of those whom the dead left behind. There was a sort of bitter sweet simplicity about it, and that contrasted well with the confusion created in the first line.
The next stanza is very good. The enjambment is great and I like the rhyme. Overall I love how the simplicity of the rhyming scheme contrasts with your subject matter.
I think that the flow of the next stanza is a little off. I think the first line needs a two syllabyl word. Maybe "barren" or two words, like "well-charred" or something.I think I'd omit the secodn "the" as well. I'd also look at the third line as I think it reads a little jerkily. I loved the last line here. It was very effective and flowed perfectly.
The last stanza was my favourite. It just felt really fresh, and it was so powerful. It really coveyed the futility of war.
Overall, well, I won't say it was enjoyable, given yoru theme, but you get my drift. It was well-written, and I thought it was a very good piece.

Excellent poem, very powerful and melancholy.

A deathly chill reaches the field
To cover the bodies of the men who dropped.

I agree about "reaches" maybe not being the best word here, and also, "deathly chill" seems sort of cliche

Two-by-two, the bodies lay,
Killed in the midst of a violent attack,
And the bodies bake in the heat of the sun,
The bones dry up, splinter, and crack.

The last line of this stanza contrasts well with the rest, what with the harsh "crack" at the end.

Shed for the sake of another's rage,
A rage which causes life to end.

The first line here is really good, but i think the last one doesn't embody the meaning as well as it should--maybe its the word "causes" i dunno.

I think this is very well-written, with good meaning and everything.

i actually liked it and didnt find any problems.
mabey im just tired...
ill try again later and do a in depth torough research to try and find any problems.

nice...

vince

Since the ones who posted before me seemed to have sighted all the errors, I'm going to do the praising part. I love your poem! It was able to capture the scene after a war.. I don't knwo if it's only me but your poem can make people realize the futility of wars.. that nothing good comes out of it.. only loss, suffering, pain, and separation by death. Hope that I'll be able to read more of your works!

This was very good! Very well put together! I loved it because it was a very deep poem! i enjoyed it alot! i love the last stanza! it's very... um... i can't find the word that best describes it! but Good Writing!

This reminds me of the World War II documentary that's on TV right now. I also like the last stanza. It seems reasonably pessimistic, but artistically understated.
One teeny thing is that some of the rhymes don't match up with the beat of the poem. Don't sacrifice meaning for it, but it would bring the piece to another level if you fixed that.

Tweaked a few things in this one... i'm thinking of submitting it to be published or something.