Ridin'

This is about horseback riding. Please let me know what you think of this poem. =] Peace && Love


I count the steps
I play a song in my head
Try to remember the words
I forget the lyrics to the song

I can't think
I see the jump
I forget to breathe

My heart beats in my throat
I grip tighter on the reins
My heart skips a beat
For my adrenaline is rushing

And all I know is how to ride
Ride with the wind

I feel vibrant
I can feel the horses muscles in his leg pounding on the ground
His hooves digging in the sand
His physique is remarkable

I'm ready
I can't hear anything
All I hear is silence
What a beautiful noise it is

Now I am in the air
Everything around me has paused
A millisecond in time
Nothing is wrong

So much more than expected
The thrill of riding him

This is great, i can tell you love to ride. Your discriptions are very good.
I would suggest that you put puncuation in your poem.

Poems work the same as writing a story.

well done. I love horses to.

kim

Yay, I love horses too!

About this poem, I can definitely see your passion, but it's a little choppy and hard to read.

I count the steps
I play a song in my head
Try to remember the words
I forget the lyrics to the song

I love this verse, but the last two lines make no sense. Maybe say, "I count the steps to a song in my head." Also, do you really mean, "remember to forget?"

And all I know is how to ride
Ride with the wind

Beautiful.

This is very nice. All I can say is work on fluffing up your imagery, not just saying exactly what's going on.

Bravo!