The Tyrant King (Edited)

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As part of my Creative Writing course I have to submit a portfolio of four poems by Friday. This is the second poem (the first is The Daemon's Bride).

Comments on this would be incredibly appreciated, especially in regards to the rhyme scheme.
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The Tyrant King

The monster with jagged teeth and matte scales
roared again, stood above its limpid kill;
from the amber eyes to the long oak tail,
the Tyrant King stalked the forests and hills.

Blood stained its jaws and chest, a ruddy sheen,
while on the mossy ground lay scattered meat,
a bleak remnant of a death far too mean.
Then, sated, it left, its stride a grim beat.

Yet it is strange to think, that by the Age
of the Human, the King and all its kind
will have changed: lost their scales and all their rage,
beaten low, by evolution and time.

And now outside my window, in the heather,
sits the King: a twee bird of fluff and feather.


-- Jonathan Hyams
I wrote the above just for you.




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Stanza three is my favorite by far. Your rhyme scheme seems fine! The ending was odd, but althogether a worthy read, if not a little bland.

Well done!
-Evang.
Break the boundaries, hunt the hunter, and leave me a tip.
----to kill or not to kill



"The trouble with Borrowing another mind was, you always felt out of place when you got back to your own body, and Granny was the first person ever to read the mind of a building. Now she was feeling big and gritty and full of passages. 'Are you all right?' Granny nodded, and opened her windows. She extended her east and west wings and tried to concentrate on the tiny cup held in her pillars."
— Terry Pratchett, Discworld: Equal Rites