Check, Mate x2

2.1: Nora's Room

[knock at door]

ROSIE [yelling through door]
Nora, I brought you coffee, wake up!

NORA
Eh? Oh! My alarm! What happened?

ROSIE
Well, get dressed, we have to go; classes start in twenty minutes!

NORA [still half asleep]
I'm coming, I'm coming.

[crashes from inside the room]

NORA [to herself]
Ouch!

[door opens]

NORA
Alright, ready!

ROSIE
Coffee?

NORA
Thanks.

[footsteps down stairs]

ROSIE
Good morning, everyone.

MAGGIE [giggles]
Nora watered the plant with her coffee! I want to try!

DEE [exhasperated, dishes clattering in the background]
Maggie, put my coffee down! Nora, you could have said you don't drink coffee.

HERBERT
But this way is so much more entertaining. That one by the door looks a little droopy if you're looking to give away tomorrow's coffee

NORA
Sorry, Dee. I don't drink coffee.

DEE
Well, for goodness sake, speak up next time. There's oatmeal in the thermos for each of you, now get walking! You're going to be late.

ROSIE
Tell Dmitri that we're not waiting for him

DEE
You didn't even beat Dmitri, he left ten minutes ago.

ROSIE [grumbles indistinctly, then]
Let's go, Nora

-theme song-

2.2: Campus Building 1

[bustling students in the background]

ROSIE
Here's your Shakespeare class. Gotta run to Russian Studies, so I'll catch up after class [suddenly dejected] Oh, there's Dmitri, I didn't know he was in this class too...

NORA
See you later, Rosie.

[walks into class]

NORA
Hello Dmitri, I didn't know you were in this class

DMITRI
Nora, hello. Well, it fulfills the English requirement. And I hear the ladies love it when you quote for them.

NORA [grumbles]
That's debatable

PROFESSOR [walks in and slams door]
Save the conversations for after class, please, so as not to insult those among us who have no one to talk to

[Dmitri and Nora laugh quietly]

PROFESSOR [voice trailing off]
Now to begin...

2.3: Dee's House; kitchen

DMITRI
Dee! We're home!

NORA
Rosie? Why are you standing on a chair?

ROSIE [aggravated]
Don't ask.

DMITRI
Oh no, run!

DEE [overly cheerful]
Dmitri! and Nora! How good of you to join us

DMITRI
Ooh, too late.

DEE [sings]
It's catering night!

ROSIE
The part of the housing agreement that you probably didn't think about. That you probably thought might be fun.

NORA
I didn't know it involved uniforms.

DEE
Here, Nora, try this one on. Darn; all out of pins. [calls from next room] Dmitri, go change into yours.

DMITRI
Ouch! Dee, your precious little niece is throwing cookies at me!

[Maggie giggles]

NORA
Alright, I'll be right back.

DMITRI
Eh, I think I lost--

DEE [returns]
No, it just got back from the cleaners; it's hanging in your closet. Oh, I love the first event of the year.

[Dmitri's footsteps fade upstairs]

DEE
So much excitement. And so much to do, so everyone chop chop!

ROSIE
Ouch, Dee, you poked me!

DEE
Sorry, dear. [Nora enters] Oh Nora, don't you look lovely.

HERBERT
Ha, she looks like a penguin, just like the rest of us.

DEE
No, no need to stand on a chair, hon, I'm not that tall. Alright, Rosie, you can go change now.

ROSIE
Finally.

HERBERT
Dmitri, my boy, looking sharp! Isn't he handsome, Nora?

NORA
Well, he looks better, at any rate.

2.4: Party

DEE
Nora, stand up straight, slouching is unacceptable.

DMITRI [mocks quietly]
Yeah, Nora, head up, shoulders back, don't want you looking like some slouch.

ROSIE [grumbles]
Like you're one to talk.

DEE
I heard that, Dmitri. Ah Rosie, you're back. Good. Everyone has their dinners?

ROSIE
Yeah. Everyone's happy as a clam.

DEE
Wonderful. I love catering events; so much fun, don't you think?

ROSIE
Yeah, remember Dmitri's first party? [slurs words]Eh, which way to the balcony, I think I need some air.

[all laugh]

DMITRI
Yeah, and then I tried to kiss her, imagine that!

ROSIE
Hrmph.

NORA
Yeah, imagine.

---
end episode two
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A quick note on formatting: basically, it gets annoying after a while, especially when typing BBCode tags, because format doesn't transfer well from word. So for a while at least, I'm going to be lazy and put in brackets what was formerly in italics. :bows: Thank you.
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Just one quick comment on the dialogue -

DEE
Ouch! Dee, your precious little niece is throwing cookies at me! [I think this is supposed to be said by Rosie, not Dee.]

Other than that, everything flowed well and I'm glad that you're starting to seperate the personalities out more. Perhaps Nora needs to reply to the comments on her pouring her coffee over the plant though. Perhaps she can explain that she doesn't like it or at least say sorry because that seemed rather random and then all the characters just forgot about it and jumped into another conversation.

A good 'episode' though and I think this would work really well as a radio script. Perhaps describe their voices though. I mean I know most of them but how does Nora speak? Is her voice soft or harsh? Does she sound as if she's close to tears or does she have a dash of sarcasm. Any particular accent? Having it as a radio show does not excuse you from description =)

Here are some of the people I imagine the characters' voices to sound like [dunno if you know any of these people or not]:

Nora: Christy Carlson Romano

Dmitri: Dick Van Dyke, voice of Bert in Mary Poppins circa 1964, though maybe the accent toned down a bit ^.^ / Adam Brody

Dee: Maggie Smith

Rosie: Beverley Mitchell

Maggie: Shirley Temple meets Dakota Fanning [in Uptown Girls]

Janice Johnson: Mary Wickes [voice of Aunt March in Little Women]

Herbert Johnson: Regis Philbin. Or one of the big news anchors.

Ralph: an NPR host

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But I'll go back in and add some more description to them later, still. Thanks for the critique, kitty!

Just a thought: folks are going to get Dee and Demetri confused.

I think that maybe you should get at this like you woul when reading a play. So set out the scenes in which everything takes place to be a bit clearer, i.e inside a 3 bedroom apartment on the second floor a girl lay sleeping whilst her friend knocked on the door. And then go on.
Then identify how the school looks. I have never written a script, but when i was reading it i didn't get a clear idea of physical boundaries.

(to the above post:) Well, it is a radio play...

I have to commend you on the believability of the dialouge. Very little seems forced, it doesn't seem like you tried to do to much with each line, nor threw lines away.

As for the plot, it will develop more I'm sure, and I'm already interested in where it is going. I'll definately be reading the sequels. Perhaps my only recommendation was that I didn't quite understand the catering part as much as I'd like. I've read both episodes, perhaps I missed where it was explained in a little more detail.

I'd also like to hear the [theme song]. What do you image it would be like?

I'm tuned in.