Critques

They shred and tear,
At the hearts of the illiterate.
Breath stinking,
Eyes shining.
Pointed teeth gleaming.

They tarnish and feather,
The reputation of the fool.
Fangs bared,
Claws ready.
Pen nibs shining.

They pull away,
Into the darkness.
Full of fear,
Full of hate,
As the shining souls pass.

They scream and sneer,
As the review is finished.
Curled writing,
Fluent compliments.
Making the author smile.

Haha wow this was brilliant and such a unique idea. You wrote this really well with great word choice and description.
A few things I think let this poem down though.

Pen nibs shining.

As the review is finished.

Ahh I hated these lines especially the second one. I didn't like the bringing in of distinct objects. Please change it!

Curled writing,
Fluent compliments.
Making the author smile.

And then I really didn't understand where this fitted in to the poem. The stanza seemed to completely change its meaning after "scream and sneer"

Apart from those couple of things I really liked this. Well done (:

~Ferris AKA Tara~

They shred and tear,
at the hearts of the illiterate.
Breath stinking,
Eyes shining.
Pointed teeth gleaming.

They tarnish and feather,
The reputation of the fool.
Fangs bared,
Claws ready.
Pen nibs shining.

They pull away,
Into the darkness.
Full of fear,
Full of hate,
As the shining souls pass.

They scream and sneer,
[s]As the review is finished.
Curled writing,
Fluent compliments.
Making the author smile.[/s] I would change this to something horrid that the critiques wrote

Apart from the ending, i thought this was rather good!
It certainly made me smile and I could relate with the authors because I've had some very very harsh reviews in my time on YWS.
Hopefully, this critiques is not like them and well be helpful!
Charlotte

Fantastic idea and well wrote

xx

The exaggerated description made me laugh, but other than that, this poem accomplishes very little. It contains few of the things good poetry ought to have.
BUT it's okay to start out this way; you've got description down. You can, as seen here, describe one thing in a dozen different ways. Now you've got to work on grammar, punctuation, imagery, diction, ...goes off on long list, and returns...and, most importantly, originality. Does this poem tell me something I don't know? Does it make me think? Does it present something in a new and interesting way? Not yet. Work on it.
My suggestion is to read loads and loads of good poetry. Read everything from the classics to what you see here on YWS. Here we have some good poets and some not-so-good ones. Read not only their poems but the reviews they get.

Keep working on it!
-Colleen

Lol. Lovely. I think I'd change "shining" to "blazing" as it sounds more menacing. I'd omit the comma after "feather", as I don't think that you need it. I love "pen nibs shining", that was clever, but I'd suggest "glinting" instead of "shining" as then we have the repetition "ih" in "nibs" and "glinting", which I think would sound very good.

I really enjoyed what was said in the last two stanzas, but I think that your rhythm was a bit off in parts, and it didn't flow quite as well as the beginning of the poem. Maybe look at reworking these stanzas, as the first two flowed so beautifully that it would be a shame to disrupt the rhythm you established.

Hope this helps.

Very nice. I actually wrote something like this a few days ago, but it was more of an essay than a poetry called "True Poetry". I think I'll post it on here in the Writing Tips forum, or another forum of that nature...

I can relate to your poem in so many ways, and that is EXACTLY how I feel about critiques.

Loved it!

An interesting image if a critiquer. I liked the imagery very much and th feeling was rather amusing. I'm sure many people have felt this way after a critique.

Mmmm...

I liked this...very original and amusing.

The last stanza was really from a different poem though. Why don't you continue writing about the evil critiques? And if you must write about the complinets, make it much more happy, enlightening, than the subtle smile. Make the last stanza so happy it's quirky!

GREAT JOB OVERALL!!! haha. I agree with every word.

LOL!! I really like this poem. Funny, and a good original idea. ^_^

Don't worry, it's good. *thumbs up* Just keep at it.

I really liked this, very original! I agree that the last stanza seems out of place because it contradicts with the rest of the poem. Apart from that it is brilliant!

I really liked this. It was very funny and it tells you the truth in a weird way.