My Fool's Paradise

This was written for a school assignment. We were supposed to write a personal narrative piece of poetry based on the poem "Where I'm From" By Geore Ella Lyons. It's much different from what I usually write and I debated about whether or not I should post it. Tell me if you like it.
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I am from chicken feed.
From silicon colored computer chips and chlorine stains
where old car oil oozes
Like sluggish recollections.
I am from a fallen cottonwood
(Which snowed penny-sized swabs
every summer)
hoarding ivy vines
like an overprotective matriarch.

I'm from a pew
where backs are ramrod
and faces are solemn with spiritual monasticism
set and rigid.
From cut grass
and pot-bellied sacks of wool once worn by slaughtered
lambs. I am from long walks where noses
sting from the 28 below iced air
which tastes like hot chocolate
Afterward.

I am from a hymn book.
Be still, my soul
and bended knee superintends Sunday morning.
Now that's a sandwhich! with vinegar soaked
peppercinis on New York style bagels.
I'm from Love ya double triple and
carefully planned bedtime
dockets.

I am from Christmas tree hunting and electric
blue eyes which make all the little girls cry
Like Georgie Porgie's.
I am from sugar plum rings and
texas sheet cakes
(rich and earthy colored).
From red gasoline cans
And one hell of a blazing bonfire on
Saturday afternoons.

I'm from the land of the mouse
where all my dreams come
true.
Pictures say a thousand words, they say,
and the souvenirs speak to me.
Je ne veux pas oublier.
Never.
Whoever said paradise wasn't earthbound
must have been crazy.
Because I'm standing in it.

I must be too used to rhyming poetry The piece didn't give me any feeling at all.

i really, really, really liked this. i like the way it showed who you are without coming out and saying it. really good.

Haha, the famous and ever-popular "I am from" poem. I think these kinds of typical-English-assignment poems can only go so far, but you've put in some great images and feelings here. Quite simply, I like it.

Wow, that has to be the shortest critique I've given in a while.
-Colleen

I agree with Col, in both respects: this is enjoyable to read and a nice change from the usual monotony of what comes out of these English assignments. And I think it's good that this is different from what you usually write - not that the usual is bad, but a person can get stuck in a style or a pace or a mode of thinking and a change can do you good ... even if you don't like all aspects of a very different sort of poem you can adopt bits and pieces of it later.

The snippets of place and memory almost add up to a story here. It's very close. They are nicely worded and kept my attention all the way through, but I sort of wanted the images to take on a direction. Maybe I missed the 'story'? This can work nicely without a precise story/direction, but having something like that might add another dimension to a poem like this.