Envy

6 posts
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Gender Female
Points 1148
Reviews 52
Anger overcomes me.
So fierce, the evil and
darkness nearly blinds me.
I want to thrash
and bash
and break
who ever made me feel this way.
Something whispers
in my head
that the 'some one' needs to regret
what they have done to me.
The power I feel
when I listen to the voice,
the revenge, so bitter sweet.
But sometimes I want to lose
the darkness in me.
Envy.
The little green monster
of Jealousy.




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 117
wow! :shock: I love your poems! they're great everytime! :) Wonderful job and good description!

Well done :elephant:
OREGONGIRL




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 187
Yeah, your poems are great! You are doing a great job. Hope to hear more.
See you around.

-- M.B.Author
Listen to advice and except discipline so that you
may be wise for the rest of your life
-- Proverbs 19:20




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 566
ireally enjoyed reading this, just one line however bothered me:

"and bash"

the word bash does go with thrash yes, but I just don't think its fits in really with the rest of the poem?
Meh...might just be me :P

Meevs
x
Bag.

Got YWS?




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 6
The only thing wrong I see with your poems is they arn't very powerful. I mean, the starting line is bland, boring, simple. It doesn't pull me in what so ever. Most of the lines in there are clished. I think that if you put more work into it, connect it with yourself, do something so it's not like the 100 other poems we see out there. Try and show why you feel that way. Connections are good in poems. Use them :)
Jessica:I like YWS more then TW
Jessica: but I feel awkward 'cause I don't know anyone
Eds: You get over it
Jessica: They won't... Suck me in to a level you're at, will they? Lol, Just kidding
Eds:lol, no




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 461
Gosh, change the structure a little and you're onto something cracking here!

I loved this and the imagery was fantastic, full of emotion that really sank in. You've definately got a talent.
Worship the ginger monkey :) aaand join my new group!

Oh, and enter my new contest!



If you can't describe what you are doing as a process, you don't know what you're doing.
— W. Edwards Deming