Lost

Not a drifter
Not exactly.

Not a stranger
Just a hacker.

Who calls the shots?
God or Man?

Who's on the throne
Who drives the van?

Kept up a message
"Come get me out."

Knew I could whisper
But can I still shout?

When I was reading this, I actually started to imagine it as a rap. I'm not sure why, and I'm sorry if I offended you by saying this, but it just had that sort of beat to it that made me say it in rap form. I liked it though, especially the first two verses, which capture attentions from the first second.

It flowed well too and your punctuation was okay.

Hope this helps.

I agree with Lizzy, i also read this in my head as if it was a rap

I like this, its great and original

I think it was way cool

It was kind of short, but I liked it anyway... I dont know what it was about. But that's probably just my brain short-circuiting.

When I read this, I thought of Linkin Park (maybe Bleed It Out). Sorry if that offends you, but it's my opinion. I like the idea of the song, but maybe you could expand on it and make the song longer. It's good; just short.

I don't usually critique lyrics, so don't expect much from me! I really like this, but I'd want to hear it with music. I could imagine it being on a really long track, where singing isn't the big deal but the music is, and the vocals are just added for flavor. Nice!

I wonder... I really don't like rap. In fact I don't consider it as "Music." As for the idea about a long track, well, that might work.

Nice!

I liked this!

It was really wrid, because at a moment I found a theme while culling through, but then rereading it I found another and another.

So tell me--what is this poem about? Power?