What's left to do?

Up to this point, not one regret

Stay confused, lost in mindset

What's left to do? whats the next step?

Out of everything, what's left?

So empty, so drained, what to do?

My choice, up to me not you

Drown my problems, trying to run away

Why am I still here? Why do I choose to stay?

Every move made, another mistake

Everything said and done, can't think straight

So do I trust or do I love?

No point in praying, there is no god above

If there was, why is there so much pain?

Why do I get hurt and drive my self insane?

How do I get everything out? Don't want to cry

Every time I turn around, another lie

Why can't I made a right choice?

Don't even recorgnize the sound of my own voice

I keep all these feelings buried deep inside

To avoide eye contact, I go hide

Don't want to be here, just want to run

Where would I be if I wouldn't of had my gun?

No protection and no safety

I wasn't scared, Still no fear

Alaways alone, wanting no one near

Living th only way I know on my own

What am I suppose to call home?

Don't want to be here, hurts to bad

Trying to be happy, hate being sad

Wishing things would change, hoping and praying

Still feelings of my own body slowing decaying

You have some typos in here that easily be fixed. Also the format can be changed--you don't need all the spaces between the lines. Oh, and punctuation is your friend! Don't forget about this.

This was kind of bland. Some of the lines didn't make sense in places, and because you are telling things and speaking it's real vague and I can't understand what you are going through, and so, I can't relate. Emotional poems are tough, but some general guidelines is to show, don't tell, and to bring the reader into the poem so that they can relate and feel with you. I read poetry to come away with something, but I didn't get anything from this.


Best of luck!

write_ma_hustle,


I find this a very heavy meal to chew through. Lacking all human interest.

What is it about? The monotony of making bad decision? What is of concern here (the reader asks) more than the abstract procedure of moving from dot one on a map to dot two on a map.

I don't know what is at issue here after several readings.

The simple line that seems to make this purposive is insufficient. This is abstract sense data flashed on a screen and I believe the screen should take a bow.


Best of luck. Sincerely,
Brad