American Warrior

~American Warrior~

Have you ever witnessed the American wars?

Have you crossed the seas to seek other shores?

Have you carried a Purple Heart, so bravely, so proud?

Have you heard those gunshots, so deafening, so loud?

For a soldier, these things happen every day, so I'm glad to say:

The American Warrior will keep going in a fight

So brave and strong as a knight.

For protecting our freedom comes at the greatest cost

And the ultimate sacrifice comes so highly when lives are lost

The warrior of the USA

Will fight every day

To protect the red, white, and blue:

So great, so true


Hope you liked it! ~Zoltan

Haha wow that was pretty good xD
It was a really original idea and very patriotic.
I didn't understand the Purple Heart bit...maybe that is something to do with being Scottish.

The American Warrior has these happen every day

My only problem was with this line, the rhythm was off and it seemed and little childishly put. Fix that line and this will be amazing.

Great work

~Ferris AKA Tara~

It wasn't my kind of poem, but it was good if you're american or something.
I didn't like that line either and some bits of it were cliched like the stuff about brave and strong as a knight.
Whats a purple heart?
Charlotte

a purple heart is an award that an american gets if he is wounded on the battlefield sorry for the confusion; i forgot that you guys from the UK wouldnt know XD

Wow, this is really good, Z. I almost cried...but I'm really sensitive today. XP And I'm totally against war, but I do suppost the soldiers.

I thought the rythem was a bit off when it hit the middle, but still very good.

Keep up the good work. ^_^


Lots O' Luv,
Lindsay

LOVE IT!!! Oh my goodness that was great!!!

This was good! The meter was off in a few places, however. But it's hard to keep track of meter when rhyming, I know.

These are some lines I think could use changing:

"So brave and strong as a knight."

To this:

"So brave and as strong as a knight."

For protecting our freedom comes at the greatest cost

To this:

Protecting our freedom comes at the greatest cost

And the ultimate sacrifice comes so highly when lives are lost

To this:

And the ultimate sacrifice is so highly; lives are lost

Anyways, those'r my two cents. You can just ignore them if you'd like though.

Keep up the good work!

-Kylan

wow i didn't think so many people would care about my one poem thank you all! your critiques are helpful, for the most part. maybe i'll start paying more attention to poems than i did before! thanks. by the way, i wrote this a few years ago, but changed a few things now. glad you enjoyed