Each time I'm sad, you're always there
To solve my problems and listen to my deepest fears.
Waiting to mend it all with a single kiss.
I know I've hurt you many times
yet you have no innocence when it comes to causing pain. <--- This line seems a little clumsy to me can you maybe say this in a different way? But that's what makes us special.
We have honesty, truth and forgiveness<--- same with this line ready to hastily seal love, <--- I love these last two lines Owning up to each mistake.
convintojm wrote:i thought it sounded a bit juvenile and think maybe it deserves a bit more consideration and depth.
I agree with convintojm. There wasn't really much depth here.
Also, you should probably find another word for "pain." This word (even though I often use it) is becoming over-used, and will soon be in the cliche category. So, perhaps, you should consider something else, like agony, maybe? Just not pain...too many people use it, esepecially in the context in which you used it.
Another word for pain? No. I wasnt in agony. I was in pain. Not a flinch, not in severe agony...just pain. This is...like all my writing...a life experiance...and I just felt pain. Its not a serious thing. And to be fair I LOVE all you guys commenting...means alot. But I'm 17...15 when I wrote this stuff. Glad you take the timeto read it....but again...my life...my PAIN! lol. Hope everyones ok....you all seem like very lovely people x
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