I also enjoy personal emotion pieces, but I just have a hard time seeing something this short go anywhere? It's more like a diary or journal entry that would really belong in your blog rather than on a forum. If you wanted to make this little bit into an actual story--or memoir--go for it, but as it stands right now it really isn't much.
"I feel embarrassed, ugly, scared" - following from the first two I felt that it should be "scarred" but I wonder as to whether that is what you meant.
I agree with write me but I also think that this could be made into a good poem, it would not matter so much that it is quite short.
I agree completely that it could do with being structured in a different way, maybe as a poem.
There is a lot more emotion behind this piece than what came across and I do need to try and improve it also in that sense, however at the time of writing the piece I couldn't quite get out what I was trying to say.
I love the emotion in the this piece. It's very deep. At first when I read it I saw it as just a physical scar, and then I realized that it was something much deeper than that. Cheers, to a great piece.
'My words fly up, my thoughts remain below.
Words without thoughts never to heaven go.'
William Shakespeare
Greatest English dramatist & poet (1564 - 1616)
Yes, I do have a scar from being burnt last October. It's on my upper arm on my left arm and although it was superficial burns it has left me scarred for life. It's very noticeable as it is a large area, however, if the skin tans over a long period of time (several years) most of it will go down, leaving only patches of red new, skin. So, yes this is all my own thoughts and feelings!
Now that it is summer, although you can barely call it that here in England, I'm fine with it and have grown accustomed to people asking and looking. I no longer see it as ugly, it is a part of me now!
Sorry about that long lecture, hehe, but thanks for asking!!!!
Alainna
xxxxx
