I think everyone wishes at some point in their lives that they could talk to their younger selves. So, I decided to write a letter to my seven-year-old self.
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Dear Me,
I know it's hard to act normal around all your friends, but remember, they're hurting, too. Maybe they've got moms that treat them like criminals and dads that never talk to them. Maybe they're the youngest in their family and everyone expects them to be a genius like their sisters or highly popular/good at sports like their brothers. Maybe they're on some medication that used to get them high but doesn't anymore, so they're looking for something harder core. It happens.
Try not to blame your mother for the thing you're going through. When she was your age, she was dealing with all the same stuff, but worse. Adults can be confused or naive or whatever, too. She's doing everything she can, and no, it won't make things better, but it's still not her fault.
You're right about your biological father. He is, essentially, evil. Maybe he just does evil things in a desperate attempt to hold his twisted view of the world together, or maybe he just likes to see people suffer. Either way, it doesn't matter, because he still does it. Don't let him anywhere near anybody you care about, ever. If it makes you feel any better, he will die of cancer when you're 8. It's not your fault, though, and even if it were, that wouldn't nessecarily be a bad thing.
When you're at the funeral, ignore anyone that says that he was an "angel" or a "saint". Most of them didn't even know him at all, and the ones that do are just going with a stupid tradition of rewriting history so that people look good in order to "honor their memory". Read Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card. You'll love it.
You fight with loved ones or you hurt yourself sometimes when you're mad or feeling depressed, because it feels safe, but it is not okay! If you're angry, take a minute to just breathe, and then get it out in a constructive way - draw or write or something.
You can't do everything perfectly all the time. You can't even do almost everything almost perfectly almost all the time. Doing well is more than enough, and more than most people do.
You are stronger than you know, so don't let other people hurt you, emotionally or physically. I don't mean hurt them back. Just imagine there's a shield surrounding you, and every nasty thing they say or do bounces right off. Don't be afraid of how peole might react if they knew the real you. It's not worth it to hide like that.
You're not "weird" just because you're not like other girls. It doesn't mean you're like a boy. On a related subject, you're also not like your mother, your biological father, your dad, your brother, or anybody else. You're only like you. And you are beautiful.
Peace, Love, and Respect,
You
