"Mice"

6 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 15
I wrote this a long time ago in the third grade, so it's not Robert Frost or Lewis Carroll or anything.


Little mice,
Scurrying around.
One just sniffs,
The other fell down.
Lookin' through the maze,
Tryin' to find the cheese.
Leave out the veggies;
They won't take peas!

:roll:




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 187
Aaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, that was so cute! It was adorable. But a little short, I understand that you wrote it awhile ago. But, still, it was cute. I liked it alot.

-- M.B.Author
Listen to advice and except discipline so that you
may be wise for the rest of your life
-- Proverbs 19:20




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 117
how cute! :) I can understand that you wrote it awhile ago! It was short, very short! anyway I liked it a lot!

:elephant:
OREGONGIRL




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 316
if you add some length and build on the message of this, it could be hauntingly wondrous.

Good luck with that :D

~Ed
The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck of his whole damn life — and one is as good as the other.
Ernest Hemingway




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 14
ok, this was really cute! it honestly made me laugh out loud in the end. it's simple yet heartwarming in a way. great job
"I may disagree with what you have to say,
but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."
-Voltaire




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1144
Reviews 381
I love poetry written by kids... it's always so cute!

:lol:
Bitter Charlie :: Shady Grove, CA :: FreeRice (162,000/1,000,000)



It takes me deciding to write on YWS in the late hours...to realize how many members are most active while I'm unconscious
— RavenAkuma