Timeless Haikus

6 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 187
These are only three lines each. And when there are spaces, it is the end of the haiku. Enjoy!
******************************************

Cold winter turning
Flowers blooming, buds sprouting
Spring has sprung alive

Weeping clouds of Spring
April showers bring May flowers
Sweet grass greens in Spring

The cold is gone now
The shining sun welcomes us
Be happy, be free

Crickets sing tonight
Toads and frogs are burping too
Listen till it's light

Yes, death and despair
Misery, war, and battle
They are all awful

Nature is even here
Look at the sky, the clear sky
God has made things good

Praise be to the Lord
Not to idles or to man
The praise be to God

The mountains are high
The valleys are low and dark
The trees reach the sky

Moonbeams on water
Shining and glistening here
Ripples make them dance

The moons radiance
Sparkles on the tips of trees
Shining a path way

Snoozing, slumbering
To night sleep has come
As the moon watches

Be at rest my dear
Listen to the rain, the wind
And the thunder too

Wind rustles the trees
Making the leaves fall slowly
Landing near by here

The sun welcomes us
The sun rays dance around us
Summer days have come

The sun screeches down
The boiling sun sits high
Staying there, very long
Listen to advice and except discipline so that you
may be wise for the rest of your life
-- Proverbs 19:20




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 82
It was OK, but I didn't care for them. Haikus just don't do it for me.

TG :?
Ohhhhhhh YEAH!!!!!!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 187
Um....thanks? What does "do it" for you? Well, I don't know what to say.

-- M.B.Author
Listen to advice and except discipline so that you
may be wise for the rest of your life
-- Proverbs 19:20




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 316
These...weren't particularly good.

They didn't seem to convey any...message.

They were just seemingly random images.

But then again, haikus aren't exactly my strong point
The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck of his whole damn life — and one is as good as the other.
Ernest Hemingway




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 59
This is nice; the only thing that I would suggest is that you make the haikus flow more with each other because it seemed to me that they were all coalescing into something. For example, the first three seemed like you were describing the seasons in order then it seemed like you were describing a part of the season. In other parts it seemed like your were describing the time of day. Try to make it clear what you are stringing togetherl other than that, good job.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 566
I think you did well, haikus seem difficult to write even though they are very short, so i congragulate you on that!

Good luck with thew rest of your work!

Meevs
x
Bag.

Got YWS?



Go in fear of abstractions.
— Ezra Pound