Fairytale

Alone I wait,
no one comes,
to take me out of this nightmare.

Afternoon then,
turns to night,
darkness swallows everything.

Trapped inside,
the darkness, an endless pit,
never to let me out.

Until the day,
and then you come,
to free me, now.

We fall in love,
and you help me through,
the nightmare that I was in.

But then you leave,
never to come again,
leaving me alone once more.

And I try not to dig,
the same hole that you pulled me out of,
but now I have a shovel made of grief.

I dig the hole,
and fall back in,
cold and alone.

Once again,
engulfed in darkness,
waiting for the fairytale to start again.

Even though,
this fairytale,
never had a happy ending.

Wow! good job! I really liked this poem! Excellent description and I love the part where you were talking about the black hole and the shovel of grief! wooo! Great job! Keep it up!

A thing about poetry: you don't need to end every line with a comma. In this case, it makes the poem halty and hard to read. I think you could condense this for more impact. I had to read this a few times before I understood that it was about love and abandonment.
The two stanzas I really like are the ones about digging the hole and having "a shovel of grief." In fact, you could probably start the poem from there and see where it goes.
Good luck!

Thanks you guys for all the advice, I am sure that it will help me in the future writings that i have planned. Oh, and OregonGirl, I am really glad that you like my poetry, I'll try to write more in your favor. (by the way, I am really 12! Funny how that works, huh?) Hope to hear from you!!

~~Lucky_Duck

I liked it alot. And yes FUNNY HOW IT WORKS! About the poem, I loved how you described it. Two thumbs up!!

-- M.B.Author