What I hate about myself

1-You don't allow yourself to open up to people. You purpously avoid situations in which you may open up to someone.
2-Running away from your problems only makes them bigger.
3-You shouldn't trust anyone, you just shouldn't. That is perfectly understandable, but you do have a lot of htings worth telling.
4-no comment, we've discussed this, I've apologized repeatedly, i'm not going there.
5-There's someone out there for everyone, you are 13 years old and can't expect to find love already. Is that last line me? That obviously isn't working though seeing as it's been 2 FRIGGIN MONTHS since i'v e even seen him (not to say that I don't miss him of course)!!!

This is just general stuff, not a way to pick a fight with you. More a way to alert you to the fact that I'm feeling that way again.

Ok...I wasn't going to give this to you, but I feel the need to now. It's going on the next post. Be prepared, I have been since last night. I'm not trying to pick a fight either by the way, I'm expressing myself.

Alice,

I am almost positive that this fact will bother you, but you should know it: I pity you. Not only that, but I care about you more than you could ever comprehend. Ever since I realized what kind of life you had, both at home and with your peers, I felt bad because I have a good life. I have never tried to brag in front of you; I actually tried to play everything down for you sake. But at the same time, I was jealous of you because you seemed to have a great family. I never heard about the fight you had with your mom last night, or that you were grounded for yelling at your sister. There were days I wished my family was more like yours.
Now, this school year, I find out that I never heard about those fights, not that they didnt' happen. I learned that I had trusted you more than anyone, but that you had never returned that trust. Do you have any idea how bad that made me feel? I used to feel like we were nearly sisters, and people described us as "inseperable" and "the twins." You never, Not once, said that that bothered you! Why didn't you? I would've done everything in my power to keep us both happy, and I thought that I was doing just that, becuase you led me to believe you were happy.
A comment on this supposedly "unfixable" list--instead of making a list of things you want to fix but supposedly can't, why not make a list of things you want to fix, and how you can fix them? I'd make one with you. I mean, you don't like that you don't open up to people, FIX IT! Not everything on your list is unfixable, and you need to realize that.
You may hate me for this note, and I will only feel worse then, but I want you to understand that I want to help you in whatever way I can. Yet, for some reason, the people I want to help most are the ones that don't want you help; I'm willing to try though, even if it makes my life a living hell yet again, I will try to help you, just say the word.

I would end this nicer, but I am at a loss for words and I need to go blow my nose. So here ya go, hate me if you wish, I'm getting use to it.

~Bella~

Lumme. Pity party in full swing here. Seriously, I don't know what to say about either of you. Isn't this kind of stuff supposed to be private? (If you both mean all this.)

I don't know if this helps, but my mum said about this woman she heard of and one of her children has this serious disability, like Down's Syndrome, or something like that. But anyway, one time someone said to her, "Don't you ever wonder, 'why me?'" And the woman with the disabled child said, "No, I think, 'why not me?'"

-Twit