Starting a poem with the phrase "dead body" is certainly a way to draw people in. The bit: "Know that a stranger can disappear into a mid-sized city" seemed a little off; "mid-sized" seemed more specific than the rest of the description. I liked the comparison of "unmade beds" to "shallow graves" at the end. Thumbs up in all, but I've liked others better.
nice. you've got some awesome similes in here, it really makes the poem. i found the shifting focus a little off-putting, the way the object is sort of unclear...in the first stanza for example, it's the man who draws maps, then you seem to be speaking to the reader. it's really a minor point. this is a powerful work
Who cares about the details? Poerty is not all about details...So is this something of your life? that You experienced? It sucks!
What if I loved you, would you care? What if I left one day, would you care? What if I never came back, would you care? What if I died, would you care?
